Thursday, November 29, 2007

Another Day at The Zoo

Today was, as you guessed, another day at the zoo. My son was gone to school for most of the day so he was the least of my concerns. That is, until he came home...I advised him to be quiet because his sisters were asleep and what does he do? He goes outside, stands by my bedroom window, where Sadie is asleep and screams like a girl. Then he takes a Pringles empty canister and proceeds to bang on the porch railing. I wanted to kick his little butt up around his ears. He did all this in the first five minutes that he was home.
Steff has been on an interesting kick today. It consists of something like this...screaming and crying. She has whined for everything she has wanted today. The only moment of peace I got was while she was asleep and that was only for about and hour and a half. Other than that she was in a crabby mood the minute she woke up this morning. I have to admit that her mood has become better and better throughout the day though. Bed time should be soon and that's the moment I look forward to.
Oh, I was gonna post an update about how she was to put to bed last night...she fell asleep well, however, it was in the hallway-again. When I went to put her in her bed she freaked out!!! She started screaming like I was hurting her. I just walked away and ignored her. She fell asleep shortly thereafter.
Sadie has been Sadie today. She was a little ornery when she first got up this morning but I think that was because she was still tired and just wanted to go back to bed. I have a reason for my thoughts on this, she fell asleep in my arms while laying on the couch with me. I put her in bed and she slept for another couple of hours. Other than that glitch in her behavior she was in a great mood all day.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I Live at The Zoo

My children are animals or at least they were tonight. Kieran and Steff kept running around the house playing tag and Sadie kept crawling all over really fast and shaking her head up and down...kinda like she'd listened to too much of Ryan's music.
It was all quite funny but it strangely reminded me of a bunch of wild monkeys at the zoo. I honestly felt like I was living in a zoo.
I like it when my kids are full of spunk and get along. Of course, they need to get along or it's not cute at all.
Sadie is in bed and Steff is sitting on my mom's lap and Kieran is chillin on the couch and we are all watching the Berenstein Bears. It's nice and quiet and I couldn't be more happy for the down time.
Okay, so it's not that quiet...Steff is banging this plastic thing against the tv tray in front of her. She's annoying the pants off my mom and Kieran and I think it's still much quieter than it was so this is still bliss to me.
I wonder what tonight is going to be like when I try to put Steff to bed? I dread putting her to bed. She usually throws a wicked fit and wakes Sadie up. Then to top it off, falls asleep in the hallway. I had to move her last night and much to my surprise she actually cooperated. I almost didn't believe she was going for the transfer. I kept waiting for her to wake up and scream some more but she didn't....I hope tonight is that easy...I am thinking positive thoughts that it will be...I think I'd better say a nice, long prayer just to be safe...
Steffanie got into my plant's dirt again. Grrr...I get so sick of cleaning up potting soil. I have to clean the window sill, the floor, the hardwood and her hands...It's like she just doesn't get it. We have tried every kind of discipline to get her to stay out of the plants but nothing works. She just likes dirt and playing in it too much. I can't figure out what to do. If anyone has any ideas on how to keep this strong willed child out of my plants, I'm open to any ideas...
It's funny that I can read all sorts of books on household tips and tricks but they don't make any books that give you tips and tricks on children...No one thing works for two different children.

Spending The Night With Ryan

I was able to spend about 1 and 1/2 hours with Ryan last night. So, the headline is a little misleading...we only spent a little time together but it was nice. All we did was sit and watch the news together but we rarely have time alone together so it was a special treat. We cuddled and just all out enjoyed each other.
He needed to get to bed and I was wide awake so we kissed and I tucked him into bed and I went back into the living room and watched some more news.
I eventually fell asleep and didn't wake up until Steff was in my face telling me she wanted to watch Sprout. It was a nice rest for me and I think it's because I really enjoyed spending that short amount of time with Ryan...
Steff has been 50/50 with being whiny and not this morning. I have been using negotiation skills to stop her from whining and they seem to be working well.
The newest thing she does that drives us all nuts is asking to watch a DVD and then saying she wants to watch Sprout and then switching back to wanting a DVD and back again to Sprout. It takes 10 minutes of switching the tv back and forth to finally get her to decide what she wants. It's maddening...
Sadie has been a cutie this morning. She's just been crawling around, following her sister and playing with whatever toy she comes across in her journeys...
She is so cute, sometimes she will just sit and watch the tv for a few minutes. It's so cute to see her sitting there with her little legs crossed, watching the television...
Oh, she always crosses her legs when she is sitting. It's so cute and makes her daddy happy that she's such a little lady...
Kieran wore his snow pants to school today. I had to remind him to wear a pair of jeans underneath them though, cuz I'm sure he would have just wore them if I hadn't said anything. The funniest part is that we only got about 2 inches of snow...He's such a kid. I'm not complaining about him being a kid, I'm just saying it's funny how kids think....
Ryan crashed his machine at work last night so when he got home he really needed some TLC from me. I can't say I blame him for feeling that way. I know when I'm having a bad day it always feels nice to have him hold me and show me he loves me. The world just seems to go away when I'm in his arms and I'm sure it's the same for him...

Household tips for today...
1. Disposable Diapers: Keep a plant watered longer...before potting a plant, place a clean disposable diaper in the bottom of the flowerpot-absorbent side up. It will absorb the water that would otherwise leak out the bottom and it will keep you plant from drying out too fast. Plus, you'll have to water less....
2. Duct Tape: Hang glue and/or caulk tubes...Cut a strip of tape, several inches long, fold it over the bottom of each tube, leaving a flap at the end. Punch a hole in the flap with a paper hole punch and hang the tube on a nail or hook.
3. Aluminum Foil: Sharpen your scissors....Fold a piece of foil into several layers and start cutting. 7 or 8 passes through the foil should do it.
4. Aluminum Foil: Clean your iron...just run your starch ridden iron over aluminum foil several times...make sure your iron is hot though.
5. Aluminum Foil: Use as a heat reflector for ironing boards...just place the foil along the length of your ironing board(shinny side up)and underneath the cover and it will reflect the heat back up and cut your ironing time.
6. And, the coffee related tip of the day...Fertilize plants...use used coffee grounds in the soil around plants. They have nutrients that acidic plants love-ie. rosebushes, azaleas, rhododendrons, evergreens and camellias.
And, as an added tip to #6...Grounds from drip coffee makers are better than those that have been boiled in a percolator because the grounds are richer in nitrogen.
I tried #6 over this last year and it worked really well for my roses...
I haven't tried any of the others but I just read about these tips and tricks so I will be trying them soon...I'll report back on their effectiveness too or you can report to me if you've tried them and what your results were... tkelstrom@comcast.net .

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

When is it Abuse?

When is it considered abuse? I mean does it matter if it's your one child abusing your other one? You see, tonight Steff had it out for Sadie...Sadie ended up with a bruise on each cheek, they are in different spots on each side so they weren't from the same episode.
This is what I know...One minute Steff is in the kitchen doing whatever and trying to wake up from her nap...which she actually was half way in the kitchen and half way in the hallway when she fell asleep and I, being such a wonderful mother, left her there for the entirety of her nap. I figured she was taking one so leave her alone...She doesn't transfer well at all, so, if I had tried to move her, she would have woke up and stayed awake...
Anyway, Sadie crawled into the kitchen and apparently she got too close to Steff because when I came in, after hearing Sadie start to cry, I found Steff down the hallway, hiding from getting in trouble and Sadie smack dab on the right side of her face...
Later, the story is kind of the same, they were in the kitchen again and Sadie started crying and Steff ran off to hide. This time I'm really not sure what happened since Sadie was just sitting there crying and Steff took off to hide...I know one thing though, Sadie ended up with a bruise on the other side of her face. Kieran said Steff hit Sadie but that's all the information I got out of him...
I just had a revelation or two...Steff always hides when she hurts Sadie...and, 90% of the assaults happen in the kitchen...
I know I'm in for much more of this and that's something I've come to terms with but I'd hate to get in trouble for something my kids do to each other...

He Got 100%!

I almost forgot to share the great news. Kieran did a state report on the state of Oregon. He did an excellent job. His Gram helped him print all sorts of neat facts and information and then they glued each piece of info onto a black piece of paper and made it look great...Well, the great news is that he got 100%!!! He worked so hard on this report that I am very happy for him...He really deserved the grade and as I said, we are so proud of him....

Limited Connection

This has been a frustrating day with the internet. I have been trying to get our computers to reconnect to the internet virtually all day. Ryan seems to believe our router is going out and that we need a new one. It only works about 1/3 of the time now-a-days. It is really a pain, because I'll be typing a blog and it will go down. I am hoping this one will work...

The kids have been good, Kieran is being a turd and blowing a party blower. Even Steff is telling him to "shush." I have asked him to stop but to no avail...So, I'll just take it away. I warned him that if he doesn't quit being a stinker, he's going to his room for the night.

Steff is just waking up from a nap and she's in a surprisingly good mood. I like it when she wakes up in a good mood. She didn't wake up this morning in a very good mood though. Of course, she woke up at 5 something and wouldn't go back to bed. So, she eventually crashed on the floor until 9 or so this morning.

Sadie has been cute today. She's been zipping all over the house in a speed crawl. I love it when she does her speed crawl, it's hilarious...She has been as mellow and cute as she usually is.

I talked to my Oma last night. She is doing as good as she always is...she's still depressing to talk to. She talks about how lonely she is a lot and how her husband won't give her a divorce. I wish she didn't feel so alone but she lived close to all of us and moved back to Oklahoma anyway. She wasn't alone when she was here.

Well, to end this blog I've got a household tip...to clean a coffee maker, use 2 to 4 Alkaseltzer tablets and water with a little vinegar in it...It works better than anything I've tried in the past...Of course, my tip had to be about coffee. You know how I love my coffee...Speaking of coffee, I just brewed a fresh pot and it sounds so good...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Up Early Today

So, I woke up at 3am with another headache but, I think I've isolated what is causing them...medication. I think it's a medication that I'm on. It's a new one so it only makes sense. I will just have to talk to the doc and see if there is maybe a different one of the same type that I can try. No big deal, well, other than the wretched headaches that is.

Sadie and Steff got up ungodly early this morning...Sadie woke up at 5:15 and she was in a crabby mood so her crying woke Steff up at 5:45. I really didn't want to start my day that early but as a mom, you do what you have to do...Right?

Kieran will be walking to school with Nick for the rest of the year. I couldn't be more excited about it either. You see, this means I no longer have to drive him each morning. I know it's not smart or safe for him to walk alone, that's why I used to give him a ride each morning. I will still give them rides when the weather is a wreck or when the temperature drops out the bottom.

The girls may have gotten up early but they both fell asleep early too. Sadie went back down at about 7:45am and Steff went down around 6:30. Steff slept until 10:30ish and Sadie is still asleep. All this is fine with me since they got up so darn early.

I'm hoping Sadie sleeps for another half hour because that's when I'll be going in to wake Ryan up. I think he finally went to bed at about 4 or 4:30 this morning. So, he deserves to sleep until at least 11 or 11:30. I don't really like that he goes to bed so late but I still think he should get about 7 hours of sleep. I know he appreciates it too.

I think Sadie is starting to wake up...I heard a little fussing coming from our bedroom. I was hoping she'd sleep another 10 minutes but I don't think that's going to happen...

Heaven's to Betsy's I am feeling tired still...I could go back to sleep before my head even hit the pillow...I will have to tell Ryan of my early morning adventures and see if he takes any pity on me and lets me go take a nap...

Steff has had a runny nose for the last week and she was complaining of a loose tooth. I have a feeling she's getting her two year molars. I guess we'll see though...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

And, I Was Worried About Sadie


I don't know what I was thinking but I went over and layed on the floor to play with Sadie and relax while the girls watched a movie. Well, Steff-not Sadie-had a better idea and she un-decorated 1/3 of the tree. All right under my nose. I don't know how I missed what she was doing but I did. I just thought she was in her bedroom playing. I was so wrong...

The funniest part was that I was worried about Sadie tearing the ornaments off the tree when it was ultimately Steff that did it.

I was so mad. I was mad at Steff and Ryan. Steff because she removed so many ornaments and played with the decorative beads and Ryan because he put the gate in a place that I couldn't get to it and thus there was no gate around the tree when it fell victim to Steff...

No fear though, the tree is redecorated and the beads are put back in place. It has one spot that needs fixin' but other than that it looks good...See?
I also already have 3 gifts under it...One for each of my children...

Ho Ho Ho!!!

I, with the help of Ryan and my mom, have successfully put up our Christmas Tree...I'm so excited for Christmas this year. If you can't tell...
I have finished my Christmas cards and I did it all before Halloween was even over yet. I know I've blogged about my card adventures before but I figured it was worthy of addressing again. I feel very proud of myself for getting them done so soon.
I was hoping this year we wouldn't have to put a big gate around the tree but Sadie is still too young to try that act. She has already gone after it a few times and almost succeeded in pulling it over. Even if it wasn't a big deal to have her going after the ornaments I still worry about her getting hurt by pulling it over.
Ya know what I just noticed??? I haven't seen any Christmas tree lots...Usually you see them on Thanksgiving and they pop up everywhere but I haven't seen a single one. We use an artificial tree, that's how we got ours up so soon but still...I haven't seen any lots. That's kinda weird if you ask me.
I feel a little bad that I broke the family tradition of putting up the tree on my mom's birthday but she said she didn't mind and that she would put up her three little trees if she needed to do one on her birthday. I hope she doesn't get all depressed since I wanted the tree up so early?

Whew, What a Morning

This morning is turning out to be a challenge...Steff is in a mood again for the second morning in a row and I have a headache to boot.
I actually woke up at 4am with a migraine. I haven't had one of those for a while and I remembered why I hate them. I don't usually use the word, "hate" but this time it called for it.
As I said, Steff is in a "mood," she keeps whining about every little thing. I even had to take hot dogs out of the freezer and tell her that she could have some for lunch because they were frozen. She wanted them "right now" though and she threw a fit over it. All this drama over hot dogs started with a show that she was watching, in which they had hot dogs. I love the things she learns from television but I don't like it when she gets something stuck in her head because there is no getting her past it. She just doesn't "forget" things.
Sadie is being a sweet heart this morning, she is being cute and fun too. She just crawls around and plays with whatever is in reach. Right now she is playing with an extra package of wipes and of course, diapers. She is so funny because she will get into the diaper baskets and pull all the diapers out. Then she proceeds to chew on them. I actually had a diaper one morning that had a big hole in the bum area from her chewing on it. It was funny, when I went to change her I finally realized that she had chewed a hole into the bum area. I had to laugh. . .

Saturday, November 24, 2007

"Just Ten More Minutes"

What good does "ten more minutes" do when you're sleeping. This is the question I will be asking for a long time...You see when ever I wake Ryan up he always asks for ten more minutes. I can't figure out what ten minutes does. Does it really make that much of a difference?

Uhhh...This Morning

Uhhh...This morning is turning out to be a challenge. I can't be sure what has gotten into her but, Steff is crabby. She keeps whining about this and that. It's honestly driving me crazy...
Sadie is being pleasant this morning so having 1 out of 2 up being good, isn't bad odds.
I wish I felt inspired to blog but I don't.
The only thing I feel inspired to do is..drink coffee. Lots of it, I'm sure draggin' this morning. No particular reason for the dragging but I am and I wish I could solve it...or get rid of the feeling of just dragging...
Sadie is standing at the puter gate and soon she'll be pooping. We have a morning routine and it consists of something like this: Sadie gets up and I make her a fresh bottle. She drinks her bottle and I go out and smoke...I come in, lay on the sofa and she comes over and poops...I change her and she goes about playing. I turn on my computer and get on it, she comes over to the gate and poops again...Every morning it's the same thing. It never fails, she always poops twice...and, always at the same places. It's actually all quite funny.
I know I said I wouldn't blog about pain anymore but wow, do I feel stiff this morning. I wouldn't say it's a bad day because I felt stiff yesterday too and it wore off about mid-day. I'm hoping for the same thing today. I feel stiff everywhere too. Even my fingers aren't dancing across the keys like I'd like. I can't even pop my neck and that's always possible.
I won't let this garbage consume me though, especially not today, Ryan is going to go in to work. I have to do this virtually by myself. My mom is still at her friend's house and I have no idea when she'll be home and if she'll be of any help.
Speaking of my mother...she is driving me crazy and driving my Jeep all over. You see, she hasn't registered her car. She keeps making excuses why she can't afford it and instead of saving her money so she can afford it, she spends it. She's like taking care of a teenager. She's about as responsible as one. I know, that's not saying much about her but sometimes I wish she'd just "grow up," I get so sick of taking care of things for her.
She will even make a phone call to me to ask me to make a call to her doctor to make her an appointment. Instead of just using her call for calling the doctor. She does crap like this all the time.
I have to give her props though, she does help me when I'm not feeling good. I know she thinks she's doing a good job because honestly, I don't have what it takes to tell her to "grow up."
All in all, she drives me crazy though.
Her latest trick is to use my Jeep whenever she feels like it. Ryan is going mad over the whole thing. I am starting to go crazy too actually. She has gotten to the point where she just assumes that I will run her here or there or that she can just "take" our Jeep. The real kicker...she doesn't even put gas in it. She drives it and doesn't even put any of what she uses back in. And, she's not just running up the street, she's usually running across town. Oh...it drives me nuts.
Oh...I could go on and on with the things she does but then I'll just be fired up and ready to rip her head off when I see her and that's not a good feeling.

Sadie is pestering Steff and it's funny. Turn about's fair play...Steff was just telling Sadie to "shoo, shoo" as if she was a bug and needed to go away.
Not much to blog about this morning...I'm sure I'll be back with more...

Friday, November 23, 2007

No Black Friday for Us

We decided, with the help of our finances, to stay home on this Black Friday. We really couldn't have gone out anyway. My mom, and hence my babysitter, stayed at a friends house last night so she wasn't home to help take care of the girls when they awoke this morning and, I have a strong feeling about how waking your children to go shopping is completely wrong. I don't care if other's do it but I won't...
I feel like I have to defend my parenting after some of the accusations that have been sent my way. I'm actually quite irritated that my parenting has been put under fire. I know I addressed this yesterday in my blog but I still feel pretty sick that my parenting was even questioned.
Oh...well, can't make everyone happy all the time.
Yesterday turned out to be a good day. Ryan and I both felt that it just didn't have that "Thanksgiving" feel...Neither one of us could be sure why but we just didn't feel that it was Thanksgiving. It was just like going to mom's for dinner. It was still a great day of family and the feeling was wonderful but it just wasn't as we remembered it as kids. Or as a family for that matter. Maybe it's because we weren't a whole family. Kieran had gone with his Gram and Gramps to his aunts house for the big feast so we didn't have all our kids to experience the holiday with.
I felt very good about my decision to let Marla have Kieran. The way I see it, if Sean were still alive I'd have to share Kieran anyway so why keep him from that part of his family for big events? It's just not right.
This morning has been uneventful. Sadie and I got up at 6:30 and hung out together until 8 when we went in and got Ryan out of bed. Notice I didn't say "wake up" I said "out of bed"? I say this because as I type he's sawing logs on the couch. I wish he'd wake up but I have a feeling it won't be for a while. It usually takes at least 2 hours to get him up when he does this. Then, he's still a zombie for another 2 hours before he starts to realize he's wasting his day.
We both came to a realization...I crash on the couch in the evening and he does it in the morning. I have to be honest, it bugs me to no end but there is no reasoning with him or getting him up until he's ready. It sucks. The whole reason I got him up was to spend time with him and knowing it's going to take 4 hours before he can really even open his eyes is irritating. Not to mention, I have to take care of the kids by myself. I think he's even able to get me up at night and take care of kids but he doesn't cooperate at all.
Poor Steff, she just came in and crawled on the couch to spend time with her daddy and, when she told him to wake up, he shushed her. Poor thing just wants to sit and watch Sprout with her daddy.
She also just got out of bed. It was funny because I went in to wake her up and she layed in her bed for 30 minutes before she emerged from her bedroom. It was kinda cute.
Well, I have mail to send out and things to do so I'm sure I'll be back with more stuff later...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

How Much Info is Too Much Info

I made a mistake...I thought I could literally and candidly express myself on my blog. I erroneously believed that I could use this as an outlet and show people what's really going on inside this head. I learned my leason. Or, should I say I will have learned my leason once my mother in-law gets a hold of me today.
You see, I blogged about drinking. Which is not okay with Ryan's family. They believe that if I have a few drinks I will turn into a drunk and that I have not taken care of my children...
To my defense...I don't have a problem with alcohol...I may have had one in the past but since my son's father died, that part of me died too. I finally figured out that my children have one mom...and, that's me. They don't get a second one if I die.
To take this a little furthur on how deep this has changed me...I used to believe that the Lord could change something about you if you truly believed in your heart that He could. I learned from my own experience that He does work miracles in people's everyday lives. Since Sean died I have not once binged on alcohol nor have I had the urge or feel the need. I have actually drank less than I have, ever, since I was 15. Can you explain this? I can, and I just did. God cured me...Plain and simple, I am no longer a slave to alcohol.
Don't buy this? Fine...Have doubts? That's your faith problem, not mine. I can say that since Sean died I have actually had the ability to "stop" when enough was enough. I can actually and truly, "walk away" and I can now have just one drink and not "need" more.
Don't ask me how I know that I have changed because until you feel how I feel you cannot understand the healing power of our Lord...
As for taking care of my children...I have not once drank, not even one drink without another sober adult able to take charge. I don't neglect my children. I can't say it any nicer. Nor will I.
I'm actually insulted that I am not trusted to secure me children's safety when I know I may become slightly slowed. I am equally insulted that I cannot live my life the way I want without grief.
It's my business and I made a mistake. You won't know the truth from here on out because I won't make the same mistake twice. I'll just create a different blog where I can really express myself and in this one I will candy cote life. Just the way everyone wants to read it...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

It's turkey day!!! Yeah, we all have made it through another year. I know I sound premature saying we made it through another year but think of it this way....if you send out annual Christmas cards that contain the yearly letter of what has happened in your family, then you are literally wrapping up your year. As I've stated before, my Christmas cards are ready to go...Woohoo...I can't explain how great it feels to have those done...
But, again, it's Thanksgiving and with the tradition of Thanksgiving I should list the things I'm thankful for. I figured I could name the top ten and maybe a little narrative to go along with it.
Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For...(in no particular order)
1. That I can be a Christian...
2. That I'm free to practice my religion.
3. For this great country.
4. The men and women in uniform that defend this land.
5. My children...
6. My husband...
7. All the doctors and medical staff that have wisely treated my family.
8. My sanity, well, at times I'm grateful for this luxury.
9. My extended family and all they offer in the way of love and support...
10. I'm grateful to have a living relationship with God and the freedom to express that I do.
And I'll name one more for good measure because after all, 11 is my favorite number...
11. My life...
I know a lot of these go with old cliches but these are the most true to my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving America...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

2 Angels Laughing

I saw two angels today. My daughters were playing together and laughing hysterically. To see my daughters laughing together was to see two angels on earth. It was absolutely beautiful...

A Long Day

It's been a long day...This morning started out slow but once I left to take Kieran to see Dr.Kluthe it went faster and faster and I'm just barely getting to sit down and blog.
Kieran's appointment went well. He said that when Kieran threatens to move out we should just act uninterested and thus he's not receiving the rise out of us that he's looking for and hence, he'll eventually stop saying it. As for when he acts rageful we should tell him thanks for letting us know his feelings and the point is to ultimately have him come to us and tell us instead of acting them out. So, I learned some good techniques...
Steff and Sadie hung out with me all day, accept for when I took Kieran to his appointment of course. We took Kieran out to his Grams and then we came home for a few minutes and after that it got more busy...We left and went to pick up my mom from work so she could watch the girls while I went to my doctor's appointment but, we ended up all going to the appointment. The appointment was a wreck with Steff wanting to talk with the nurse first, and then the doctor. She wanted their attention and my mother wasn't being very helpful with trying to keep her out of our business. Heaven forbid, she wouldn't even hold Sadie so my doctor didn't have to step over her. And, I thought she would be helpful since it was her idea for all of us to go...
Then we went to the grocery store...that was a zoo. Beings it was the night before the big feast. I had to get a prescription and we loaned my mom more money so she could buy all the food for her and Danny to have a Thanksgiving feast...Can you tell I'm annoyed with her?
So, we dropped my mom and the food off and the girls and I went out to see Ryan at work. That was the highlight of my night...I miss him and I'm excited for him to have 2 days off.
After we left Ryan's work, we went to my dad's since it was just 5 minutes away. I had a good time over there and it was nice to spend time with dad, Kelly and my sisters. I actually ended up bringing one of my sisters home with me for the night. I brought Tayler home because there was no way I was getting Steff out of their house without her. She definitely didn't want to leave when I told her it was time to go...
Now, it's past my kids bedtime and we're still watching a movie. Even Sadie is still awake and it's two hours past her bedtime. Some time they will all go to bed and I can hardly wait...I know I'm ready for bed...

Morning Ramblings

Steff is the first one of my children to get out of bed. She got up about 15 minutes ago and it's only 6:30...It's usually Sadie that is up this early. I don't mind, I like to start my day early...

I had a few beers last night and I feel great this morning. Ryan stated some concern about it and I agreed that I'd slow my roll and not drink for a while. Which is really going to be hard since the holidays are coming up and we'll be spending time with my family. They are drinkers...not lushes, they just have a few drinks now and then. I like it, it's kind of fun to sit back and have a beer with your family and know it's okay.

Ryan's family doesn't really drink. Some of the extended family does...like his uncle and cousin and the like, but his immediate family doesn't...their religion doesn't believe in it. I understand it and I definitely respect it but sometimes it'd be fun to see his family with a nice healthy buzz.
I have to admit that they showed me you can have a great time without drinking. That's nice, and honestly, I really don't mind that they don't drink. We have an good time whether we're with my crazy family or his equally crazy family.

I wonder what today is going to be like? I have to take Kieran to see his psychologist and I need to run to the store for Thanksgiving vittles-which I'm not looking forward to...the stores are always a mad house the day before any holiday... Especially, one that has such a staple as food. Today is also the biggest travel day of the year so all the roads are going to mad with crazy drivers...I also have a doc appointment at 4...better leave early for that one.

There are few things I need to talk to Kieran's doc about; such as how he's been exhibiting some symptoms of rage lately. He's been throwing and kicking things and just all out getting angry. He also has been threatening to move out a lot. I thought he had it pretty good here, he doesn't have many chores and he's allowed to do a lot of things...I don't know what's going on in his head. Maybe it all has something to do with the holidays coming up and the fact that it's only the second year since his daddy died? All I know is that whatever I can do to help him, I will do.

Steff has been learning lately that naughty behavior gets you put in time out. And, she hates time out. She'll usually scream for quite a while before she catches on that she's not getting out until she mellows out. She's learning, slowly, but surely. It's nice to have her mind better and throw less fits when she doesn't get her way. She may be a little under-disciplined but she has good manners....she always says "please" and "thanks"-not "thank you," "thanks..." The other really cute one is when she says, "you're welcome." I have to laugh because she sounds so grown up when she says this.
Speaking of the things she says...she cracks everyone up with the way she talks and comes up with some of the oddest things to say. Her vocabulary is amazing for a two year. We get comments on how well she talks all the time.

Sadie has been good, she still cries about half the time when you leave the room and she doesn't want you to but, I read that it's a normal phase she's going through. This great book I have explains that she does it because she's learning she wants to be independent and she wants to be the one to leave the room-not you. The book explains this behavior is normal right before a baby starts to walk.
One thing we've noticed about Sadie is that she does everything on her own time. When she learned to sit up, we'd been practicing with her and she just wouldn't "get" it, then, one day she just sat...same thing with crawling, she just did it one day. There wasn't much preparation, she just took off one summer day and now we have to chase her all over the house. We think it will be the same with standing and walking too. I would bet she just stands one day and then one day she just takes off walking. But, there's no "teaching" her and she doesn't cooperate when you try. Like yesterday for instance, Ryan had her standing and he was supporting her with one finger and she was doing the rest and doing it well but the moment he moved his finger she plopped onto her little bum. Stubborn little stinker she is...

Ryan is looking forward to Thanksgiving but I'm sure it has more to do with not having to go to work than it does with the food. Matter of fact, I know this is the case. When he got home (at two am) we were talking about how much time he was going to be taking off. He said he was gonna take Friday off too. Which, I have to agree with. Hell, I'd like it if he'd take the whole weekend but he has a trip to save for so he needs the overtime.
Kinda funny that I'm sending him on vacation but in order for him to go he has to work lots of OT to afford it. I don't think he minds though. He's just excited to go. He was cute and sweet yesterday, he was saying that he's sure he'll be homesick. I don't want him to feel that way. I want him to have a great time and be happy to be away from it all. Then to top it off, he comes home and a week later he gets an entire week off for Christmas. He'll appreciate spending time with us after having that time away...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Going Crazy with the Help of Children

My children are driving me crazy....!!!!
Right now, Steff is in her room, in time out, and screaming to get out.
Kieran is actually sitting eating or I'm sure he'd be being mouthy, like he has been all night.
So, Kieran and Steff are driving me nuts.
Sadie on the other hand, is being good. She's talking with her Nana, can't be sure what she's saying but she's being cute.
All in all though, I'm going crazy. When one kid turns on the charm(read charm as being naughty), it seems like one has to follow. I can't be sure which one started it but Kieran and Steff are cruisin....
I received a phone call today from some woman, stating that Kieran had been swearing at some girls today. I confronted him and, he lied. I advised him he had one more chance to tell me the truth because I wasn't calling this lady back and sounding like the hind end of a horse if he really was swearing.
He fessed up and got grounded to his room for three days. I wouldn't have even gotten mad if he'd told me the truth the first time. I'm trying to instill in my kids to tell the truth because the consequences are less when your honest.
When I told him that he sat there and argued with me that I still would have grounded him for three days. I told him not to tell me what I would, and would not have done. He obliged...
What do you do when 2 of 3 of your children are being so out of control.?
I personally just grabbed my head and screamed, which emitted a laugh from Sadie.
I guess I should be glad that at least one of my children are being good instead of dwelling on the two that are being turds...

Musical Day

Here's a picture of the girls that I took while blogging. Steff was going behind the couch arm and then jumping up and playing peak-a-boo with Sadie. They were both laughing hysterically...

I don't particularly want to be blogging but outside of listening to music on You Tube and my stereo, I have nothing else to do. Yah, I could be cleaning my house but we already know that is bad for your health and stupid when you have little children.


I received a cd in the mail yesterday and a 3 pack of 80's hits today and as I said, I was listening to Pink Floyd on You Tube....
Now, I'm listening to my 80's tunes and enjoying each minute of every song. I live for 80's top hits...

My new adventure is to get Sadie off the bottle. We bought her a juice cup today and she seems to be doing good with it. She is so cute the way she tips her head back when she's sitting up and trying to drink...



Steff has been a good girl so far today...She has been listening and minding very well. I know I may have just jinxed myself...But, for now she is eating her menagerie of foods and drinking her juice and, get this....watching Sprout. Who would have thought she'd watch Sprout...?





The UPS guy just showed up...The UPS delivery system comes down our street every day. Never fails, I'll be out smoking and he'll (or she) drive by and lately about half the time they are delivering something to my house. I love getting things in the mail. It's better than going shopping because it has that waiting for it aspect.
I got a BIG box this time. Of course, it had many Christmas gifts in it and that was good. I also got the wrapping paper that I ordered. There is a different wrapping paper for each of my kids so that I don't have to use name tags....Kieran's has Transformers on it, Steff's has Disney princesses on it and Sadie's has Winney the Pooh characters.

Ryan has gone off to work already. He left about 30 minutes ago and it's 2pm now. He's feeling better today but he still feels "not quite right." The guy that runs his machine during the day has the week off so Ryan gets to go in early so he can come home early...I like it because he gets up earlier in the morning. It's actually morning when he gets up instead of being early afternoon.

I forgot how much I love music. I didn't remember what a great mood it puts me until today and I've been listening to it. Have fun....girls...they just wanna have fun...Gotta love Cyndi Lauper. I really forgot how great of a mood music puts me in. I feel great, this is better than drugs-not that I really know a whole lot about drugs but I can assume...

Ryan is getting really excited to go to Oakland and see the Raiders. His only reservation is that he wishes I were going and he feels bad that he's going on vacation without me. He says he knows both of us really need one so going without me makes him feel bad.
Honestly, I wish I were going. I'd love to see the ocean with my husband and to sit and cheer for our football team together. Not to mention how bad I'm gonna miss him. We have always been in the same house to sleep. We've never had a night apart in 4 years. It's gonna be hard.
I am gonna miss him so bad...He'll be home in 4 days.
I'm gonna be okay.
And, if I keep telling myself that then maybe it will be so...?

Thought for the day...Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.......I'm too young to die.....even if I feel old some days. Oh, today is a good day.

My mother in-law and I were talking about our bursitis and she was saying she got hers from a car accident she was in when she was 16 and we went through the whole list of things that could have caused mine. There's no one, single event that caused mine. It could have been dancing when I was younger, or the 2 car accidents I was in while I was pregnant(one with Steff and one with Sadie), or it could have been caused by carrying 3 children. Who knows? Not I, but I also came to the conclusion that whether you know what caused it or not, it's not gonna fix it...Yeah, it'd be nice to know so you can cuss that one day or moment or decision but it's not gonna change anything, you will still be in pain on certain days and others will be okay...Bursitis sucks...

I'm still listening to music and feeling absolutely elated. I love music, it's so healing. Speaking of healing. I have yet another doctors appointment tomorrow, this time it's to get my meds refilled and have my back adjusted, anyway....I'm gonna talk to him about physical therapy and the like. Because...my lower back and hips are getting worse. I can't even go for a short walk without putting myself down for two days with pain. I used to go to the gym with Ryan every day and do the ellipticals and I never had any pain. Not so these days. All I know is I'm sick of being in pain. There has to be something I can do or that the doctor can do to help me.
I know I talk about being in pain a lot but it's only because it consumes me some days with it's intensity. I pray for strength and for a miracle but the Lord has a different plan for me. It's hard to keep faith but He always answer prayers....Sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," sometimes "maybe," and sometimes "later." For now, and forever, I'll keep my faith and hang in there and maybe I'll bitch a little less on my blog? I'll definitely try to focus a little less on each days level of pain. Whether it has brought me to tears or if it's just annoying, I'm gonna change my perspective....See, He does answer prayers. I just had an epiphany on what I can do to deal with my ailments....
Only, the Lord can do that...give you tips in your mind. Who else could be so wonderful and fill you with answers and guidance? No One....




Monday, November 19, 2007

Tonight...

Well, it sounds like Ryan is getting sick after all. I was just saying yesterday how I couldn't figure out how he and Kieran escaped getting the wicked cold the females in the house all got. I must have jinxed him...
He called earlier saying he has a headache he can't get rid of, he feels hot, his eyes are burning and he just doesn't feel good. I told him he should come home and get rest. He told me he's a big boy and he'd see how long he could hang in there. I feel terrible that he doesn't feel well and if he is getting sick that would explain why he was so worn out yesterday. It really didn't seem like he did all that much but he did seem really worn out.
Kieran is being decent tonight...Not bad and not great. He's been playing with Steff really well but he's also been a stinker to me at times.
Steff is running around and being crazy. She just got a hold of a whisk and started smacking at her brother. Oh...which reminds me; today I caught her smacking her sister with a plastic, slotted spoon. I took it away and warned her not to hit her sister...
Say is being cute. She is just crawling around playing and being content.
I am worried about Ryan and I hope he doesn't play tough guy and not come home if he gets feeling worse. I love my family so much that it hurts me when they hurt.

Just Sadie

It's just me and Sadie this morning. Since Steff was up at all hours of the night she is being allowed to sleep in today. Ryan is also in bed but that's because he works nights and he's always up until 3 or 4 in the morning.
Sadie has been quite content this morning. We only had one moment where she followed me crying but I think that's because I had her bottle and was on my way into the kitchen to fill it for her.
She has been playing with various toys this morning and occasionally she'll come over to me and make some speech sounds and then off she goes to play again.
It's been a good morning with her and her first nap should be coming up soon so I will hopefully get a few minutes to myself before Steff rises and shines...

Crazy Night

There is nothing else to say about last night other than it was crazy. We went to my sister's birthday party and I had a great time but as usual it was nuts. We are all loud and to someone that isn't used to us, overstimulating...
It's like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding only we're Italian, German's...We are loud and louder than each other.
Ryan is grateful his family is on the more mellow side.
Anyway, we came home and I sent Ryan to take a short nap because he was exhausted from cleaning the leaves from our over-grown Maple tree. And, I took care of the kids. Kieran took a bath and Steff watched Sprout...Sadie had gone off to bed with daddy. I had had a three Rum and Cokes so I drank lots of water and ate...
Surprisingly, I feel great this morning. No hip pain and no feeling rough from drinking. But I haven't gotten in to the craziest part of the night yet...
After I woke Ryan up, I crashed out and when I woke up (because Sadie was beckoning for a bottle) it was 1am and Ryan was out in the garage installing a stereo in his truck.
I'm sure our neighbors believe he's on meth...since he is always up into the wee hours of the morning...but that's still not the crazy part, that's pretty normal for him...
After I went to the garage and had a smoke with him I went to bed. Yes, I actually went to our bed and I was sleeping so beautifully until...
Steff came in around 3:30am and woke me up wanting something. Honestly, I can't remember what she wanted all I know is she woke Sadie back up and when I came into the living room she had the tv on and was watching Sprout. I think she came in because daddy just turned on the tv and came to bed. Leaving her to her own devices and she was bored. I can't say that for sure, so I will check with Ryan and get back with you on that. I know she doesn't know how to turn on the tv let alone change the channel-and we hadn't been watching Sprout when I fell asleep...
So, I stayed up with her until 5am this morning, all the while trying to convince her to go back to bed. She did finally go back to bed but I had a hard time falling back to sleep and it wasn't in my wonderful bed it was on the couch again....
I think I finally started dozing off around 6am and Sadie woke up - again...I thought for sure it was for the day since that is usually the time she gets up in the morning. I was thinking today was going to be a baaaad day but somehow she took mercy on her mom and went back to sleep until 7:30 this morning. Oh, how I feel so loved by this little girl for being allowed to catch a little more sleep...
So, as you see it was a crazy night and surprisingly I feel wonderful...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

What A Good Day

Today is a great day so far.
The kids have been pretty good.
Steff was a stinker and got into one of my plants but she has been cooperative outside of that...
Sadie has been taking a long nap which is kind of odd but good since she usually only takes a 45 minute one.
Kieran still isn't home but he should be soon.
My mom went to work so she could have the day after Thanksgiving off.
Ryan is painting the window seal in the kitchen and he and I have been just chattin each other up. That's nice. We don't have a whole lot of time to just be...together.
So instead of sittin here blogging I should be spending the time with my wonderful husband...
Tonight around 5 we are going to my sister's house to celebrate one of my other sister's birthday. It should be a good time...It usually is when we all get together.
I read something about the average amount of conversation that married couples have in a week and get this it's only 17 minutes of conversation on an average........
Kieran just got home. It's time to spend time as a family....

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Today Has Been Rough

Today has been somewhat of a rough day. Not that my kids are doing anything rotten-at least not as of yet...it's just that I only had four hours of sleep and a half hour, interupted nap on the sofa. That and we have a low pressure so that causes my hips to give me grief. All this makes for a rough day.
I still can't get over how great last night was...I enjoyed it so very much...Ryan being at work would be super hard if we hadn't spent the evening together...That's not saying it's easy but at least I have fond memories to go on...
The kids have been pretty good today. Steff and Sadie played together well and they both ate a big dinner and the house is quiet-thanks to Nemo...
Kieran is off to his Gram and Gramps for the night and although I miss him, sometimes it's nice to not have a night with him and Steff screatching at each other. Not that they do it every night but ya never can be quite sure what kind of night it's going to be.
I have taken two baths today in the hopes that they would ease some of this icky feeling. I don't have a hang-over or anything like that, I just feel beat up. I do however feel a little better after my bath(s).
I am patiently awaiting Ryan's arrival home and it's sure taking it's dear sweet time getting here. He should be leaving as I am typing this and it's about twenty to eight. Sadie will be going to bed in a few minutes and then Steff about an hour later. I do want to keep them up for their dad to be able to spend a few more minutes with them but I can't be sure if they will cooperate.
I forgot to mention that we went out to Ryan's work for about an hour and sat with him while he had his lunch and ran some parts. He even made sure we all had safety glasses on while we were in the production area. I think that is so sweet. Steff sure looked cute with those big glasses on her face. Say didn't have any but her face wouldn't have supported them and she and I sat away from the machines. We had a good time but it was very hard to leave him there. That was when we decided that he needed to get everything all cleaned up and come home...He'd put in enough overtime for the week. I sincerely wanted to go back in and help him clean up so he could come home sooner but I had the girls and it just wasn't a possibility.
Well, I think I've worn out my blogging welcome for the day and I'd like to vege on the couch for a minutes before I have to give my full attention to my wonderful husband when he gets home. Take care and have a great night.
One final thought that was shared with me last night...Cleaning your house while you have small children is like shoveling your walk before it's done snowing....Yet another reason to go on strike against cleaning...

Completely Bumbed Out

So, I'm completely bummed out...Ryan has to work a ten hour day to pay the bills and be able to provide Christmas for our family...I wish I had a job sometimes so I could go to work and he could stay home and spend time with his kids. I just cried my eyes out before he left because each time I saw him give one of his kid love it just broke my heart to know he had to leave. I can't make it all better and that hurts from a nurturing point of view.
The kids seem to be doing well. They sure wanted to spend time with their daddy though.
Kieran is in a good place. He's being cooperative and sweet and helpful. He's going to his Gram and Gramps today so he won't be going with us when we go out to see dad for lunch. That sorta bums me out because he needs to have more time with his dad.
Steff has been a little turd. I just got done cleaning up a dirt mess from her getting into my plants and playing.
Sadie is still doing that following and crying thing. She's getting a little better but she still wants to be held and loved a lot.
Kieran and I are going to go through a catalog and see what he wants for Christmas so I better go...

Picture Before The Date



Here we are before the big date last night...

It was a fun night. They had door prizes, bonus checks, entertainment...which was absolutely wonderful. This guy was an music artist impersonator...I cannot express how great he was. He's worked in Vegas so you know he's at least good.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Good Times

We had a date!!! We went to Ryan's work company dinner party. They always throw it the Friday before Thanksgiving in order to not cause any conflicts that may occur with family parties through the holidays. I have so many good things to say and yet I'm so tired.
Today was a pretty laid back yet busy day and I think maybe tomorrow would be a better time to blog about all the happenings.
My house is a boarding house tonight. My mom's friend Danny is staying over since it was so late when Ryan and I got back from the party. Plus my brother and his friend are out partying and they need a local place to crash for the night. So, we agreed that would be fine.
My eyes are burnin...I had five long island ice tees and they were yummy. I feel the need to finish them off by sleeping a nice long winters nap...Or something like that...Anyway, I will blog more about the happenings of today first thing in the morning.
Right now we are watching a dvd of Pink Floyd and relaxing...Good times.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Picture of Kieran



Here's the latest picture of Kieran

A Little About Nothing

It's nice and quiet. I have put both girls down for a nap and Ryan has gone to work...
Oh...the peace...
I wonder what I'm gonna do with myself? I could actually take a nice, quiet shower or I could take a nap or read a book. Or maybe even watch a little television...Which means no Sprout...
Today has been a pretty good day. It's always nice to spend time with Ryan. I only wish Kieran were home when Ryan is. They don't get to spend much time together.
I'm really thinking a nap sounds good...

Nope...didn't nap. I actually took a shower to see if I could wake up...I couldn't figure out why I was dragging so bad and then it dawned on me that I hadn't eaten at all today...So, I ate.

The Aliens Have Landed

We have proof that there are ETs. Not only that, but they can and do produce offspring...

Movies, Laughing and Starbucks

The whole bottle thing went well. Steff didn't complain that she didn't have her bottle last night or this morning. She actually calls her sippy cup her bottle but she still doesn't drink it.

Right now the girls are in their bedroom and Steff is making some shrilling sound and then laughing. I'm quite sure Sadie is taking and putting her hands over her ears and Steff thinks it's funny.

I had a decent night of sleep. It was still on the couch but I woke up this morning feeling okay. I was a little stiff but that's to be expected as you get a little older.

I snuck off to Starbucks this morning and got myself a triple shot, caramel machiatto. Steff was still asleep when I took Kieran to school so on the way I didn't have to hear her protests about not wanting to go to Starbucks. I don't know why she doesn't like it, I always get banana bread and share with her.

Tomorrow I will be watching Jenn's twins again. I should have them every other Friday for the day. Which it's a few extra bucks in my pocket and taking care of them makes the day go by fast. And, Ryan will be working a lot overtime from now until he goes to Oakland and then he'll still work lots after that for Christmas. So, lots of stuff to do equals time going by faster...

Steff has a new movie...Ratatouille...She hasn't actually watched it all the way through but she keeps asking to watch it. The way she says it is worth each time she asks...Rat a too lee...Oh, she is so cute-sometimes. I just watched a few moments of it and it's actually quite funny.

Not much else is going on...I need to do something with myself so I'm sure I'll be back later.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Promotions, Bottles and Visitors

Ryan got a promotion!!! He's been working his tail off and he's been the "go to guy" for a long time and management finally recognized his effort by giving him a fifty cents raise and naming him the "water spider." Which is code for he gets paid to be the "go to guy" now. I am so excited for him and the raise couldn't come at a better time...with Christmas coming and him going to Oakland, Cali for a few days...

Ryan has had a good few days I'd say...He gets a vacation then a raise. This dog is having his day. I'm happy for him. He deserves it...



Steff is off the bottle!!! This is big news...It happened by accident too. I had bought a sippy cup for Sadie in which she detested but Steff thought it was pretty cool. So, this morning when Steff wanted her morning bottle, I couldn't find it and resorted to the sippy cup. She didn't protest much and she didn't drink it either. I thought maybe she'd get hooked to the sippy cup but she doesn't really drink from it much so no worries about that one. She even went down for her nap without any protest or fits for her bottle. I just keep reminding her that she's a big girl now and big girls don't have bottles.

Tonight may be a challenge so everyone keep your fingers crossed and I'll keep you posted on how things go...



My mom's friend Danny has been here for the last several nights but with good reason. His apartment is torn up. He literally has no toilet and his water is off. To top that off, we are hitting some of the coldest temperatures yet this year and his heaters have to have water to heat up. Now, don't go thinking he didn't pay his bill, his water is off because some tree roots grew into the underground pipes and bust them. There's no telling how long the repairs will take but I feel good about doing something nice for someone else.



My step-mom had surgery on her thyroid today. She had three cysts on it that where the same size as her thyroid itself. So she had to have her thyroid removed. I can tell you that it was hard to see her that way. She's usually a spunky go getter.

Not Much To Blog About

There really isn't much to blog about. The girls have been pretty good today and Kieran, although grounded is sittin and watching one of his favorite shows. He's only grounded from playing with friends not from anything inside the house. Ryan has gone off to work and was a real sweetheart today. He even let me take a nap on the floor. The girls are in bed although Sadie is in serious protest about this idea. She hasn't been napping really well for the last couple of days. Makes a parent wonder what is going on?
I'm sitting here with my head on my desk and typing away. Kieran keeps having me watch different things on his show, it's kind of annoying. I am ppoped toay and living in a fog. I can't be sure what the deal is but it's very annoying and I wish it would go away...
I wish Ryan could stay home from work tonight. Sometimes it would be nice to have his company in the middle of the week. I know he has to work but what'svacation for if you never use it?
I haven't done anything to excting today. I already expressed how pain free I am so life is good.







Here are some pictures of my not-so-clean house. I just wanted to share so that when I talk about certain rooms you get the idea of what they look like. The first one is of the living room. Notice the big tv that Sadie likes to pull herself to and bang on the screen...The second one is of the dinning room. We will be refinishing it soon and then we can buy a nice dinette set. The last is of the computer area. Notice the top of the gate at the very bottom of the picture? It keeps the computers safe from little intruders.



She Sleeps Like A Baby...

Well, first off Ryan appologized for not being better about his surprise. He admitted he has a problem with money-code for he worries and thinks about it far too much. He said he's excited and he nows what a sacrifice I have made for him to be able to go. He also told me he didn't want anything else for Christmas but I just ignored him since he's got a long list of CD's he wants.
I'm just happy he came to his senses about the whole thing. I wasn't looking for any appology but I wanted him to be happy with his gift. Mission accomplished.

Next order of business...I got sleep. I slept like a baby. Which they truly sleep like garbage so it fits. But, I got sleep and I feel great. I actually woke up pain free too. I think it had something to do with waking at 5am and taking something for pain just to see if it would make a difference in the morning.

What a world of difference!!! I can actually pick my legs up to step over the computer gate area...
It just dawned on me that I should take pictures of my house and post them so when I talk about things you know what the crap I'm speaking of.
Anyway, I feel great and in spite of waking up several time throughout the night I feel wonderful..

Kieran rose and shined this morning. He got up a little later than normal but I think I like getting him to school closer to eight than 7:45. I know he likes to get there early to play but the weather has been pretty cold in the morning so I doubt theey're outside playing anything. I should talk to him...

Kieran also has his own email address but it's attached to mine and I check it often. I don't actually read the messages, I just look at who the senders are. There a lot of sickos out in the world so you can never be too careful...If you want to send him an email I'm sure he'd love it.... kmanster@comcast.net .

Steff has been pretty good this morning, she's already taken a toy away from Sadie and said, "It's mine!" but other than that she's been pretty cooperative. Right now she's playing in the dinning room and writting things in the fog on the big window in there.
Sadie is doing great this morning. She didn't get up until after 7 this morning so that was a nice treat. She is just sittin around playing and doing her usual cooing. She has only pulled herself up the telelvision one time and she's not following me crying...

My kids are so cute and wonderful. I know they have their moments but I love them. Thought for the day:Maturity is partially defined by the willingness to be accountable, without excuse, for your actions...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Not So Great Surprise

So, today is my father in-laws sixtyith birthday and he's an Atlanta Colts fan and Ryan is an Oakland Raiders football fan. Both teams play each other on Dec 16th. So my sister in-law had the great idea to send them both together to watch the game.
My father in-law opened his gift and Anne announced that there may be another ticket in the room. I had bought a nice Christmas card for Ryan and put his ticket in it. And, he opened it.
Then he jokingly said he didn't want to go watch his Raiders lose to the Colts...
Then he said, "How much did that cost?"
My feelings are so hurt...
He not only gets to go to a pro football game but it's far enough away that he gets to have a little vacation away from work and he gets to leave home for a couple of days. And, all he wants to know is how much it cost!!!
What I wouldn't give to get away like that...Or better yet, to get a mini-vacation...
But needless to say it wasn't such a great gift. He wasn't at all excited or surprised.
As I said before, my feelings are pretty hurt...

The Girls Eating

I just wanted to share this picture of the girls sitting down together eating. I think they look so cute. Especially Steffanie doing a cheesy look. Doesn't Sadie look cute just kickin' back?
Posted by Picasa

Ryan Sprang Out of Bed

I couldn't believe it...Ryan jumped right out of bed. I only went in one time and asked him to wake up. It's a new record...
I guess that means that I can't spend money....
That was the deal. . .He got out of bed easier and I don't spend money that isn't necessary.
I still can't believe he sprang out of bed. I was doing busy work and I turned around and there he was. It was almost creepy.

Sick of Poopy Diapers

I am up to my elbows in poopy diapers. Or so it feels. When you have two toddlers or one toddler and one soon-to-be toddler in diapers if they each have to two poopy diapers a day that's four poopy diapers and more than 1/2 of all diapers thrown out. Okay, so maybe it's less than half but they stink so their intensity is at least double and that definitely is more than half.
I am so sick of poopy diapers. If I could figure out a way to make them stink half as bad it wouldn't be so bad but face it, poopy stinks...No bull about.

An Interesting Morning

What a stiff morning this is. I feel stiffness radiating from my low back into my legs and up my back. Why oh why do I have to feel this way when the weather(read: clouds) come in? Ugh, it sucks. I usually will loosen up by mid-day which is just in time for early evening and the stiffening to restart.
I don't know any other thing to do than just deal with it. My mom says age doesn't progressively feel icky. She said she went through periods of time where she did feel terrible and then it would level off and she'd be okay for a while. She happens to be in one of those "good" periods of time. And, as much as I'm happy for her, I am envious because I'm in a loooww...
Ryan and I made a funny yet informative discovery yesterday. We figured out where our gas is coming from...the Ultram. It's one of the major side effects. Here we both feel like we've eaten beans for every meal and it's one tiny, little, white pill doing it.
Yeah, I know too much information but it was such a funny discovery...I can tell you're just bustin' up over it.
Some of the other side effects that go along with the Ultram happen to be: dry mouth(me), feeling of elation(Ryan). I wish I had the feelings of elation. No wonder Ryan is such a happy guy. It has nothing to do with anti-depressants and everything to do with low grade, non narcotic pain killers. How fun would that be?
The little stinker across the street is so hard to understand. Yesterday he came over at 8am to see if Kieran could walk to school, I had already taken Kieran...So, today I have Kieran call over there to see if he wants to walk to school and of course, the answer is no. So, I take Kieran to school as usual. Then at 8am I hear a horn honk...it's Nick's mom coming to pick him up for school...Figure all that out...
Steff just did something painful to Sadie-again. I can't be sure what she did but I can bet a book had something to do with it. She usually leaves the evidence behind. This time Sadie was sitting on the kitchen floor crying with a book close by. I can only imagine what Steff did right before she bust up laughing at which time Sadie started crying and then the inevitable slam of Steff's bedroom door which also indicates she did something wrong.

Monday, November 12, 2007

War on The Little Sister

I think Steff has waged a war on her little sister. I can name 3 things she has done to be mean today. . .
First off, this morning Sadie was going after her "honey squares" so Steff pushed her down and yelled at her to leave her honey squares alone.
Then, I was changing Steff's bum and Sadie crawled over to check things out and Steff smacked her right in the face. It made the "smack" sound she hit her so hard.
To top it off, Steff had a Mardis Gras necklace in which she proceeded to smack Sadie in the head with. Not once, but over and over again.
I can't be sure where all this hostility is coming from but I've got to figure out a way to curve it or one of these times I'm gonna turn my back and Sadie's gonna really get it.

100 Things About ME

Here are my 100 things about me. It was supposed to be my 100th blog but I forgot so it's the next best thing...
1. I am a Christian

2. I know Christ died for my salvation.

3. I may have to die for my beliefs someday.

4. I love my family.

5. I don't like the word hate...

6. I love coffee...a lot!!!

7. I am the oldest of 8 kids...

8. I have 5 sisters...

9. And, 2 brothers...

10. I am very patriotic...

11. I cry when I look at our flag and remember what it stands for.

12. I also cry when the jets fly over our house.

13. I am very happy in my life.

14. I can't believe I changed myself into a better person...

15. I love all holidays...even the small ones.

16. My favorite holidays are Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving.

17. I was born on Valentines Day.

18. I don't like being born on Valentines Day...It's a drag.

19. I was 19 when I had Kieran.

20. I enjoy getting older.

21. I cannot wait to be a grandparent...

22. I look forward to being old.

23. My husband is my world.

24. I wouldn't mind having one more child.

25. I would like to further my education.

26. I want to be a therapist.

27. I enjoy plants.

28. I love the color purple.

29. I'm 29 years old.

30. My house is usually cluttered.

31. I enjoy going dancing with Ryan.

32. I haven't been dancing in years.

33. I haven't finished high school.

34. I never got into street drugs.

35. My favorite kind of movies are comedy.

36. I like that my oldest child is a boy.

37. My computer desk is more organized than anything in my house.

38. I love sending people cards to let them know I'm thinking about them.

39. I am left handed.

40. I like being left handed.

41. My eyes are green.

42. My eyes changed color when I was a kid.

43. I grew up in Utah.

44. I have lived in Houston, Texas

45. But, only for 3 months.

46. I hated every single minute of it.

47. I still thank the family that helped me come home.

48. It's now been 8 years since I came home.

49. I have never felt more free than the moment I stepped off the plane and into my daddy's arms.

50. I have a good relationship with all of my parents.

51. I like my in-laws.

52. I love my husband's siblings.

53. My hair is dark brown with natural reddish highlights.

54. I have bleached my hair.

55. I have 3 grey hairs.

56. I believe grey hair is a sign of wisdom.

57. I have a long way to go before I'm wise.

58. I believe prayer should be in schools.

59. I feel rotten when my children are sick.

60. I believe infants can see angels.

61. I believe God sends us angels to help us out.

62. I believe angels walk among us.

63. I believe each American troop should be treated with great respect.

64. I believe that people can change.

65. I don't believe the Mayan calendar is correct.

66. I don't get woozy from blood.

67. I can handle medical procedures...

68. I don't like pain.

69. Correction...I hate pain...

70. My favorite animal is a frog.

71. I live for making my husband happy.

72. My shoe size is an 8 1/2.

73. I have never been this big...

74. I enjoy meditation.

75. I love the way snow sounds when it falls.

76. I love summer time.

77. I have had finger nails since I was 12 years old.

78. I was born in 1978.

79. I enjoy being a stay at home mom.

80. I wish I could remodel my house.

81. I want to paint my front door red.

82. I want to have a bistro type theme in my mudroom...

83. I love Starbucks.

84. I love hearts.

85. My favorite word is "love."

86. My favorite historical person is Christ.

87. My favorite movie is Pearl Harbor.

88. I have one animal, a betta fish, named Fire.

89. I grew up with dogs.

90. I want to travel Europe.

91. My ancestors are from Germany, England and Italy.

92. My madden name is Marquart but it once was Markwardt...

93. I have had family members in the Military Service since the Revolutionary War.

94. I really don't like it when my son pesters his sister(s).

95. I wish I could go on a cruise.

96. I am in serious need of a vacation.

97. I got pregnant on Ryan and I's honeymoon.

98. I am completely in-love with my husband.

99. I can't stand stupid drivers.

100. I wish everyone could find the love of their lives and live happily ever after.

What Ryan Likes

Ryan admitted something last night at grandpa and grandma's that I didn't know...He likes me blogging and he thinks it's been a good resource for me.
Hooray, he doesn't hate it. I don't think he realizes that I air all laundry. Dirty and clean...Maybe he does, I don't know.
One thing he did say was that he's sure I paint him in a bad light.
His brother told him that I usually talk good about him.
And, why not?
He is a great man...He has faults and moments of distress but who doesn't?
Hell, I have more moments than most and they happen several times a day.

Rough Around The Edges

I'm feeling a little rough around the edges. Only getting about 4 hours of broken up sleep will wear on anyone. I know when Ryan gets up I'll get a nap but right now I feel rough. I have drank my fair share of coffee and taken all my meds in hopes of getting the fog to clear out of my head. No such luck, yet. I'm still keeping hope alive though. I'm making my second pot of coffee for the day so it might help.
Science needs to come up with a way to safely tap coffee right into the veins. It would be so much easier to just tap a vein and call it good. Or have some kind of IV that you just plug a bag of strong coffee into each morning. That would be ideal. Of course you'd have to flush the IV several times throughout the day to keep the vein fresh. But, I'm getting into medical details that really don't need to be gotten into...It was just a fantasy any way.
Steff is being particularly good this morning. She has watched Vegetales and now she's onto Nemo. She's been eating honey squares which are actually Honey flavored Teddy Grahams. She calls them "honey squares" because that's one of the things the Barenstein Bears eat. She's so funny.
Sadie is taking her first nap of the day. She was a pretty good girl this morning so I'm hoping she won't do that following you crying thing she does. She only did it once this morning so maybe today she'll be okay with us leaving the room for a minute.
She played with toys this morning and she also figured out that if you bang on the television screen it makes a cool noise. I had to really get on her case for that one. The television is off limits in this house. Next to Ryan's computer, it's his most prized possession. He gets upset when Sadie climbs up and stands at it. We always tell her, "daddy get mad" when she stands at it. She doesn't care and telling her "no" just makes her cry. She's a stubborn one too. She will go back and stand up at the tv a good ten times before she finally finds something else to do. She even signs the word "no" when she does it.
We've been trying to teach her sign language so she will communicate with us. She doesn't talk so we've got to have some way to know what she wants.
It's kind of nerve wracking that she's not talking yet. The pediatrician said that if she's not talking or at least saying little things like, mama, dada, nana, baba and so on by fifteen months he's gonna start getting worried. But, for now he has no problem with it.
I often wonder if her lack of conversation is because she's the baby of the family and everyone talks for her and does everything for her. She's not forced to call for mama and dada cause we always hold her when she makes the slightest squeak. Just something to think about...
The coffee's almost done!!! I'm getting excited for more fresh coffee. I wonder if I'll ever be able to kick my coffee and caffeine addiction and if I'll ever want to...? Neh...I may someday take myself down to less than a pot a day but for now I'll stick with 3 pots a day(I do share these pots of coffee with Ryan and my mom). Maybe it'll just take my kids growing up a little more and being more independent than they are? Who knows? I know for now, drinking lots of coffee works for me...The worst part about drinking so much coffee....you're teeth turn a shade of brown if you don't use a teeth whitening system. I buy whitener in bulk...Hehehe...
I think the fog is clearing a little. I at least am feeling more awake than I was. Can't be sure what woke me up but for the next few minutes I could actually do something productive.

The Day Turned Out Good

Yesterday turned out to be a good day. Ryan and I had our fight in the morning but we were happy and had gotten over it by late morning. Ya wanna know what started the fight? Nah...it's over.
We ended up not doing a whole lot of anything, not even our usual house cleaning. Of course, after our fight neither one of us wanted anything to do with what caused the fight. We just spent time as a family.
In the evening we went over to great Grandpa and Grandma's because it was Grandpa's 87th birthday. He's such a spunky sports fan, even at his age. He watches sports all the time, unless he's at work. Yes, folks this man still works. He's an RV Salesman...he still sales recreational vehicles. It is so amazing.
We had a really good time over there. Ryan was in some kind of fun mood. People might not remember but the way he was last night was the way he was before having a mortgage and family and all the responsibilities that go with them got to him. He has been on anti-depressants and they have given the world back the man that it had five years ago.
Sometimes I feel like I ruined him. I know that it was more than just me but it started with me. I used to have such problems and I have changed my life in ways that are seen and unseen. I wasn't a very good person and as much as I wanted to be the person inside, I wasn't. I didn't know how to be. He must have been affected by my negativity some how.
All that used to be my life is dead and gone but sometimes I wonder the impact it had on Ryan...
Back to our good evening...After we got home from the grandparent's house we put the kids to bed and watched Transformers...What a good movie...Ryan and I grew up watching Transformers on television so it was a real treat to watch a movie about it. We both loved it. It had good humor, very little romance and a lot of action...All the makings for a good flick. I can't express how much we loved it. We will definitely be buying that movie for our collection.
It was such a good movie that I ended up staying up until 2 am watching it. I never do that because I know how rough it is to try and live the next day. Taking care of kids on very little sleep is no fun.
Right now Kieran is in the shower, Steff is still asleep and Sadie is in the kitchen getting into mischief. She keeps going after the bag of hamburger buns. I have brought her back into the living room once and she went right back into the kitchen. She's being so funny and good.
Oh...Steff just woke up.
It's time for me to go get something done.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Fight is Extinguished

We had a fight...As if from my last blog you couldn't tell. I learned that Ryan believes I don't do anything on the weekend and that he does most of the cleaning...I also learned that I do clean during the week...All of this is a bit strange to me since I know I do dishes on the weekend because I cook good meals because Ryan is home. So, to tell me he does it all on the weekend urks me...Oh, well. I'll let him live in his fantasy world.
One last thing on that whole thing...I know I do just as much cleaning as he does because in spite of it being Sunday, it's the day we really get down and dirty cleaning the house.
Oh...I also learned I'm a horrible person. I was told so. I don't think anyone warrants being told they're horrible but I guess I am. The sad part is that I just came out of this rotten depression and then the very next day I hear I'm horrible. That really helped my confidence in life.
I should do what I was advised to do...Think of my secret sister and say a prayer for her each time life seems to be all about me.
I just said a nice little prayer for my secret sister and I feel better. Amazing how thinking of someone else makes you feel like a better person.

I came to a discovery...I'm out of my Allegra. It came to me why my nose is all stuffed up and I can hardly breath. I suffer from serious allergies and the Allegra really helps keep them at bay. If you ask me, I think I'm allergic to dust. I don't know for sure because I've never had allergy testing but to just live and breath bugs my allergies. Oh...that doesn't even begin to go into what happens when I clean. Whew, what a nightmare.

Today has been a pretty poopy day all in all. It's raining and icky outside and Ryan and I had such a serious blow out. And, over what? How each of us cleans house. That's it. It doesn't matter that we both put in our fair share, one of us doesn't do enough and it just depends on which of us you ask...
Actually, I got mad at Ryan for moving my stuff because he said it was a cluttered mess and I knew right where everything was. He doesn't think something that looks messy can actually be perfectly functional. He doesn't believe that I can have a mess and know right where everything is. I on the other hand, know that this is possible. I do it all....the time.

The kids have been good today.
Steff danced to the music Ryan played for about 2 hours and she also watched Nemo and Vegetales over and over. We did watch a little Sprout but not much. She has been quite a good girl. When it was nap time we let her know and she just went in her room and crawled up on her bed...and, fell fast asleep.
Sadie has had a pretty good day too. She's done minimal crying when we've left the room and she crawled around and played. She was really cute when Ryan was playing his music and she really loved dancing with daddy.
Kieran has had a good day also. He played with Nick for a few hours and then Nick had a friend come over so Kieran came home to spend time with his family. He didn't used to enjoy doing that and he used to have to be entertained all the time but he's grown up so much over the last little while.
I am not doing so bad, in spite of being told I'm horrible. That was rough and I have to keep reminding myself he only said it to hurt me. Mission accomplished but he didn't really mean it.
Ryan is groveling...He keeps telling me to please forgive him for saying I'm horrible and that he didn't really mean it, he was just very mad and wanted to "win." I advised him that bruises go away but words can never be taken back...
Soon, we will be making dinner and then going over to great grandpa and grandma's for grandpa's birthday. It should be a good time and it's always nice to see grandpa and grandma.

The Weather,

This day has started out rough, only in the sense that the weather is icky. I must say for the record, that when we have icky weather it causes pain. Pain in my back and my hips and my body is just stiff. It stays this way until the weather starts to get better...

I have even spilled coffee, as we all know that's one of the seven deadly sins in my book. God said, thou shalt not spill thy coffee...or something like that.
Now, I'm not trying to be blasphemous but I think if He'd had more coffee especially had Starbucks been around, He'd have laid some law about coffee down...
I'm totally kidding...

I think I'm gonna be hip deap in poo today. I have already had three poopy diapers and the girls have only been up about 45 minutes. Needless to say, I have the candles going and my house still stinks.
Okay, so Sadie had a false alarm. She just tooted...

Kieran is full of something today...he has already eaten and taken a bath and now he's messin with Sadie.

Which speaking of Sadie, her eye does do some strange thing. She has one eye that just kinda goes out into no mans land. I thought maybe I was making things up but Ryan came to me the other day and said he now knows what I'm talking about. He thinks it's her left eye and I think it's her right eye. I don't know but one if not both of them does something out of the normal. Now, it's not always...It's just once in a while she has one eye that you can't be sure what the heck she's starin' at.

Kieran's left eye does the same things. I'm learning that having children of two fathers is beneficial in the means that you learn where the defective gene is coming from when one child from each father shows the same thing. Or, maybe it's not so beneficial because without truly knowing you could always blame your spouse...

Ryan got out of bed with surprising ease...Of course, it took two days of negotiation to get him to have one good day. I must explain...
I like to spend money, he likes to sleep. We have come to an agreement that I won't spend money if he gets out of bed with more ease than say squeezing blood from a turnip...Or you could look at it like if I don't spend money he will get out of bed easier. Either way, we both have to give something up and the other has to do something they don't want to. It's gonna fail...

I'm feeling a little frisky this morning so please remember to take everything with a grain of salt.
Which by the way came from back in the days when pills were huge...people literally had to "take a grain of salt" with the pill to produce salivation so they could swollow pills easier...Did you just learn something new? Just a little useless trivia for ya...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Feeling Much Better Now

So, I feel much better now. Who would have thought that all I needed was my kids to take a nap and my husband to give me his undivided attention? And, all we did was talk. We talked about the work that we'd like to do on our house and the weather. Just regular, everyday conversation but it helped me feel alive and normal again.
I also expressed to Ryan that I need to get letters and cards and gifts outside of birthdays and holidays. He said he agreed and that he's never been very good at showing me he loves me. I did remind him that he brought me home a JD Machine hoody and beanie and that he's written me little love letters. (Which I have posted in places I can see them every day) He then mentioned that he'd made me a stainless steel pencil holder and we talked about how he does do things they just aren't romantic things-at least not from my point of view.

Right now Ryan is out working on the window and hanging out with Steffanie. They are so cute together-she is such a daddy's girl. Sadie is really starting to be a daddy's girl too. I love that they have such a hands on dad. He gives them the love they will need when they are older so they don't go looking for love in other places.

Kieran is out playing with the little jerk across the street again. I guess earlier this turd called Kieran a B*tch. Ryan and I talked and the next time he comes to my house I will be warning him that if I ever hear that he's said that word again, I will tell his parents. My son may cause problems with him but there is no reason for a nine year old to use such expletives. I also know that he's called Kieran the "F" word before and as I said there is definitely no reason to be using these words.
Now, can you see why I don't care for this kid?

I cannot express how much better I feel. I am back to appreciating everything I have and loving being a mom and a wife.
Ryan and I also talked about having a date night at least once a month. We never go on dates...we talk about it but it never happens. Part of the reason is because it's hard to find someone who is willing to watch all three of our kids at the same time. Honestly, there aren't many people we fill enjoy them all at the same time at least not with out us there. They are a wild bunch but Kieran really helps out so it kinda hurts my feelings that we can't ask everyone to watch them.
Hell, my dad and my stepmom would rather watch all three of my kids for a long period of time than watch my one nephew for a half hour. Pretty funny if you ask me.