Feeling Overwhelmed

Wow do I feel a little overwhelmed. My house is full of people and I just want to relax. I am going to be taking Kieran to his grams here in a few minutes though. I think that will be a nice drive.

What A Day

It's been a day to well, honestly I'll forget it but it's been one of those days. Mady had Sadie most of the day and then when she'd tried to put her down Say would whine. It was quite cute. Kieran hung with Mady and checked on his turtle tons of times. I have to admit I'm proud of him. Steff was up to her usual antics but she didn't get into anything serious so it was a good day with her any way you look at it. Ryan went through period after period were he would get disgruntled and then he'd be happy and then back again. Of course, his mood would go south and so would mine and it took me longer to bounce back from the downs that he seemed to.
Sounds like for New Years Eve we are headed over to my mother in-laws for the festivities. I wonder how that's going to be since we aren't going over there until 8pm...? It might be hell and it might not be. Steff may just crash out at some point in the night and Say, well, you never know with her. That is her usual bedtime so maybe my mom could watch her but I don't know what she has planned. It's just ideas I'm throwing into the air since I'm blogging out of boredom.
I had a fairly good day-emotionally that is. I kinda got sick of Ryan's nit-picking but I chalked it up to him having lots of work stress that he has managed to bring home. He's said work is really bothering him. I guess they got four new machines that he's got to oversee and it's really wearing on him. I feel for him but I cannot understand the stress he's feeling since I don't work there or really understand anything that he does. I'm proud of him, don't get me wrong, but I don't quite get the whole machining thing much at all. More than some but less than most.
I am feeling pretty good about this day as far as cleaning goes. I got down on my hands and knees and mopped the kitchen floor today. It always feels good when I get that done. I also picked up toys and stuff half a dozen times.
Ryan got the nastiest email from a friend of his that he hadn't talked to in years...the guy simply said to quit sending junk mail and left it at that. No, Hi, how's the family, how are you-nothing just quit sending me junk mail. Ryan was pretty livid and sent him back an email saying his family is doing well, thanks for asking. I thought it was funny since he's the type of person who wouldn't say anything if he had a mouth full of poo. I was quite honestly proud of him for having the guts to email Casey back what he said. I guess he was just on a rampage with everyone though.
Well, it's been a long day and I'm going to go read.

Pics of The Fam

I just printed these pictures for this neat little wall hanging I have and I thought it would be nice to blog them too. I think the kids look really cute and Ryan and I have a decent picture of eachother, together...

I'm SO Bored

I am bored to tears. There is nothing to do and no one to talk to. My darling husband is at work and my mom is nursing her eyes and Kieran just got into the shower. Sure, I could run around and pick up the five toys that are laying around but I'd much rather not since, they will just end up on the floor in less than 10 minutes.
Steff hasn't done much today, she did run off the with remote control and that of course, is a bad thing so I got the chance to chase her around for a minute before she climbed under her bed and stashed it there. Other than little trick she hasn't done much today. She has been pretty good. Yah, she keeps asking for food that she doesn't eat but that's about the extent of her antics so far today. She has learned how to get the remote off the television. Since she is too short to reach she pulls the table she got for Christmas over and stands on top of it. I have to give credit for being creative but that just means she found something new to use to climb up on the counters and get what she wants.
Kieran just got home and I told him he needed to take a shower. He wasn't very happy about that but I told him that humans start to stink when they don't bathe. He decided he could use his new body wash that he got in his stocking and thus he jumped in without any more griping.
I am so bored. I am thinking and thinking of what I can do. I never thought having Steff be good would make the day go by so slow. I would do thank you cards for Christmas gifts but I did those the day after Christmas. I have printed off pictures for family members. And, I have blogged on our family blogg. What to do?

This Week

This week has been wonderful. I have had Ryan home for five days. I can't think of any better Christmas gift than having my wonderful husband and best friend home for this long. I could kiss his boss for giving them paid time off for Christmas. I'm just kidding but I do appreciate it immensely.
Christmas was good day for me. Ryan had a hard time and said it sucked because he was so tired that he couldn't enjoy the morning while the kids' were opening their gifts. He said he was just too tired to want to do anything but sleep. I have to be honest when he first said it sucked I was a bit on the defensive. I couldn't understand what made him say such a rotten thing about the day our Saviour was born. But, then he explained how he didn't get to enjoy watching the kids open their gifts. I wasn't so butt hurt after he explained it.
Kieran told me tonight that he got everything he wanted and that the air soft riffle that he wanted wasn't really that big of a want. I thought it was cute. He explained to me that it was one of those things that he thought he wanted and that he does want but not for Christmas. It was so funny. He could have just told me that he got almost everything he wanted. I loved the conversation though.
Steff had been being such a good girl for most of today. That is, until she took a short nap and since then she's been a stinker and super whiny...I actually camcorded her being a brat. I was taping Say taking a bath and Steff came in and proceeded to through a fit because she wanted to take a bath and thus, I turned that camcorder on her and away I taped her fit. That will be good blackmail later in life...
Sadie has been a little spitting machine today. But, just a second ago Ryan read an email and was laughing really hard and Sadie bust up laughing too. It was cute. Right now, she it spitting...and spitting and spitting. She keeps doing that raspberry thing that babies do. She's been doing it all day and to add to the mix she's had a runny nose and so every now again we have to wipe her whole face because she's covered in spit and snot.
Kieran is cleaning his room. He keeps coming up and giving us updates on what he's done and how well he's doing. I have to admit, I'm proud of him for taking pride in his room. Yeah, it's gotten dirty here and there and it was a wreck when Ryan went down to fix his television and Ryan of course, told him to get it cleaned up. He wasn't too happy but I asked him the other day if it was clean and he told me it was. I should have known better than to believe that he'd gotten all his Christmas stuff put away and cleaned up the boxes but I took his word for it. Silly mother I am, I am...
Well, it's time to be lazy again. I have nothing really pressing to do. I have a clean house...which is usually where I spend my time. So, time to go be lazy with my husband

The End to This Day

Today, has been a good day. I did quite a bit and here I sit feeling the exhaustion. It's okay though, I feel good about today. We went Christmas shopping, Kieran and I went to a doctor's appointment and then we sat at Walmart for an hour while they filled my prescriptions. Yeah, it was an hour...I couldn't believe it. Why did it take so blasted long? Don't know and can't change it but it still just blows my mind.

I really enjoyed Christmas shopping and we are finished, except for one gift card to FYE for ten bucks. That's it and we're done. I will probably go get it tomorrow sometime and then we'll be completely finished. That's so exciting. There have been years where we have been shopping on Christmas eve, those days sucked-big time. Not this year, praise the Lord.

The kids were pretty good tonight...Kieran was my little buddy and I really enjoyed spending time alone with him. He was fun...as he usually is when I remember he's just a kid and he needs to act like one. Dr. E put him on a new med...he put him on Paxil for his anxiety and his anger and stress level. He did a lot of talking and asked Kieran many questions before he asked me if I'd rather wait until after the holidays or if I wanted to try it now. I obviously chose to have him get on it now, but with good reason. He's been down and having a hard time with Sean not being here and he's been having peer problems at school and that just adds to his stress level even once he's home. It's not like we can't take him off it once his stressors have reduced. I just think he needs it for a period of time. Besides, it will be interesting to see if we see any changes in him.

Steff was rambunctious as usual, she just ran around and went and went and went until she dropped at 10:30. She was actually pretty easy to put to bed and she even stayed in her bed instead of going to the hallway or the kitchen to fall asleep. She's such a little spit-fire. I love her to death though. She says the funniest things and she's a little parrot. So, no swearing at my house, it's just not wise to have her around that kind of environment. We weren't bad before she started parroting but we don't even say "hell" any more. I don't say squat since I got busted on Sadie's birthday when Steff said "damn it" three times, right in front of my mother in-law. I could have died.

Sadie was a little on the clingy side, not bad but definitely more clingy than she usually is. She is still doing that squealing thing she started doing. She gets so excited and she'll just squeal at you. I can't wait to see her react to other people besides those of us that live in this house. I know Christmas is going to be an overstimulating experience for her. At least she will sleep whenever the mood strikes her. Besides, she such a good baby I can't imagine the hustle and bustle of Christmas being too tough.

Our Christmas day events are pretty few. On Christmas morning we don't have anywhere to be until we go to Ryan's dad's at 11. That is going to be nice, just hanging out at home for a little while before we have to leave. After that we don't have to go anywhere until 6pm when we go over to my sisters for my family get together. It should be a nice, fairly relaxing day.

I'm still looking forward to Christmas and after I go to bed and wake up in the morning it will only be 4 days until the big event. I'm so excited. This is going to be a good Christmas. And, next year is going to be even better.

Slept Wrong

I must have slept wrong. My right hip is kicking my butt. It has this rotten stabbing pain in it that is radiating down my leg. It feels like someone is literally sticking a knife into me hip and stabbing me, then they take the knife and run it down my leg. I have taken something for the pain but it doesn't seem to be working, at least not on the pain. I have gotten tired but haven't gotten any relief. Oh...I hate having bursitis.
Sadie is sitting on the floor doing raspberries and squealing at the characters on Sprout. It's the cutest thing.
Kieran has gone off to school but he'll only be there for a little over an hour because he has an appointment with Dr. Kluthe at 10 am. He was so mature when he learned that he wasn't going to be at school for the whole day, he was even given a choice of whether he wanted to go back to school or not. I thought for sure that he'd want to go back since it's only a half day and his class is doing fun Christmas stuff but he didn't he said he'd rather spend the time with his gram.
Marla is going to keep Kieran for a little while so Ryan and I can finish our Christmas shopping for him. I just adore and appreciate that woman so much. She is such a blessing from God. The bonus is that all my kids just love her to death...

Getting More Excited

I am still getting more and more excited for Christmas. I don't know if it's because this is the first year Steff will be opening her gifts with excitement or if I am pleased with what we've done for Kieran-or maybe it's both. I do know that if I'm excited this year, next year is going to be a real treat since Sadie will be into the whole gift opening thing and Steff will be able to start to understand what Christmas is all about.
I have been thinking about taking my children to church. Ryan agrees it would be good for them and that they need to learn how to pray and who Jesus is. I thought he'd be against me taking them to my church but he's not at all. He thinks it would be good for Steff to socialize with other children and learn how to sit still and "do" things.
I remember when Kieran was 4 he said the sweetest thing and I started crying. It was Easter and I had gone to pick him up from the nursery and his teacher said, "It is true," and Kieran yelled in his little voice, "He is alive!" To this day that was the sweetest thing he's ever said...Now the funniest thing he ever said was right after Christmas the first year Ryan and I were together...He said, "I got everything I wanted for Christmas...Cuz Santa's cool like that." Ryan and I cracked right up and to this day, we still laugh about it.
Steff says equally funny things. Lately she's been asking for "some sanity." One day she was telling me she was hungry and wanted some food and I looked at her and told her I wanted some sanity. So now, whenever she's hungry she asks for some sanity...Or just out of the blue she'll ask for some.
I can hardly wait to hear Sadie start talking. She has been doing a new thing...she's been squealing. she'll be sitting on the floor, watching Sprout and she'll squeal. It's cute and much different than the "ho-ing" she usually does or that she used to do. She's also saying "mama" and "dada" much more. I think she's starting to put the names to the faces. Kieran wants us to teach her "bubu" for brother.

Getting So Excited and Going Crazy

I am ever so excited for Christmas and it's coming fast...fast, fast, fast...Today I had an appointment with my family for a Christmas surprise for all our parents and grandparents and it was a chore. I hope they all appreciate it greatly...I know we'll love it when it gets here but I don't know if everyone will understand the sacrifice we had to go through. We had two tired, ornery little girls and an exhausted daddy. Kieran and I did good and we stayed in a great mood but we could have done without the drama.
I am feeling pretty good, I haven't had any pain for quite some time. Matter of a fact I don't really remember the last time I felt this good. I haven't had pain for days and I do mean days. That's quite the big deal since I usually live in some level of pain.
I slept in our bed last night and it was nice and comfortable. I loved every minute of it, up until I had to get out of bed to get ready for our miserable adventure today. The only good thing about getting out of bed was that I had the chance to take a shower without a single interruption. None, not even a little knock at the door. I was able to relax and just soak up the nice steam. I actually had a moment of dignity.
My son is driving me crazy...he wants to argue about every little thing. For instance, the fifth grade is doing a gift exchange and the gift needs to be something that either a boy or a girl would like and it can't cost more than a dollar. Well, we have the perfect gift in which we had planned to give Kieran but he doesn't want to give up one of his gifts. I even told him I'd get him a better gift than the one under the tree and he just refused to agree. I finally just told him that he was going to take this gift to school and deal with it or I wasn't going to replace it. Man kids are so selfish with their gifts sometimes. The funny part is what the gift is and where it came from. It's an over sized deck of cards that came from the dollar store. I had gotten them to put in his stocking but I already had too much stuff to put in his stocking and they wouldn't fit, so, I wrapped them.

Going Mad

Ryan is on the verge of going crazy and completely pulling his hair out. I feel for him since I take care of children everyday. He's fed up with Steff's antics. She keeps going in the kitchen and getting into things. The kitchen is the most dangerous place for her to be...she gets into the most trouble there.
While I was taking a nice soaking bath to ease the spasms in my back Steff was in the kitchen hucking my mom's tape dispenser. She successfully broke it and sand spilled all over the floor. I wanted to scream, but instead I just got the broom and cleaned it up. Well, the best I could anyway. Sand is one of those things that requires a good vacuum job to get it all up.
I am feeling okay today, I haven't had any hip pain which is good. I actually think it's excellent to not have any pain in my hips. I have had an annoying pain in my lower middle back but that's the same pain I've had every day since I got into my car accident. My mom thinks I should sue the lady that hit me since it hasn't gotten any better and it's been a year and a half.
I don't know what to do. I believe too many people sue for stupid reasons and I don't want to be one of those people. On the other hand, I have been in pain every day since she hit me, my hips now have bursitis in them and my placenta seperated from my uterus during my pregnancy, which can be caused by hard, jaring motions...oh, say, like a car accident...All I can really do is pray about it. I know the Lord will lead me in the right direction. I just have to have faith. Chances are though, I won't sue. I'm just not that kind of person.
There she goes again, being a stinker. Ryan has been trying to tweak his computer to run better and Steff hit the reset button and crashed the whole thing. Ryan about lost it. I just picked her up and put her on the other side of the couch and told her that she can't be over by the computers. You see, she was over here earlier tonight and now she thinks she's allowed over here. I knew it wasn't good when I saw her over here with her dad. I told him and he ignored me. I even put her back over the couch then.
I'm about ready to go to bed. I woke up at 5:45 this morning. Wide awake, and ready to start my day. I only got 5 hours of sleep and my body told me that was enough. What kind of crap is that? I wish I could have a day where I sleep in but, even if Ryan were to get up with the kids in the morning my innate sense of curiosity would kick in and I'd have to get up and see what's going on in my house and in the world. I figure one day I'll be able to sleep as much as I'd like without the interuptions of little children. Hell, Ryan and I will have quiet time alone. That would be strange...wonderful but definitely different than what we are used to.
My lips are so blasted chapped. I have been putting chapstick on them and yet they still aren't feeling better. I wish I could think of someway to get them to stop stinging. I guess I'll just keep using chapstick and pray for relief.
Ugh. . . she's going to drive us all mad. She keeps trying and trying to come over by the computers and each time I tell her no she whines and cries that she can be over here. Now, she's playing with the curtains and saying "get outta hewe." Then she runs all over the house like a chicken with her head cut off. Ryan keeps trying to reason with her and I don't think it's working too well. She says, "yes" but then she turns around and does it all over again.
I need to go, Ryan is sitting on the couch and waiting for me.
One last thing on the note of Christmas...I am getting a 7 foot bookshelf for Christmas!!! I'm so excited to get all my books out and put them on display!!! One day I'd like to have a library. Not the local library type thing, just a personal one.

Check Our Family Blog

I just wanted to remind everyone to check our family blog for the things that are more relevant to our family and a little less personal. www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com

Oh...My Hip!!!

I am hurting today something fierce. My hip hurts so bad that I'm almost in tears. I have tried heat and ice on it and the heat makes it hurt worse and the ice helps a little. I wish there was a quick fix to this. I know I could probably go into the doctor for a cortisone shot but I've heard they take days to start working. I also read that they can cause even more problems that require surgery to fix. That's something I'd like to avoid if possible.
I would take an Ultram but I'm out. Fresh out. I can't even muster up the gumption to do anything constructive. Matter of fact, sitting here at my computer is quite excruciating but, I'm bored and couldn't think of anything else to do.

I hope those of you who have been reading this blog have been reading our family blog also. I try to just update that one with info on the family and nothing personal. I figured I'd use this one as a place to express my feelings...Maybe that's not a great idea but I love journaling and I can type faster than I write...

It's Cold Out There

I can't be sure what the temperature is but I'm thinking somewhere in the 20's. I'm a summer kind of girl. I'd rather sweat than freeze and lately all I've done is freeze, along with everyone else. I was wanting winter to come and, I was grateful when it finally arrived. I do after all, love the snow. I think it's beautiful and peaceful but I'm looking forward to Summer again. I've had enough of the cold. I don't know how someone can live in a place like, oh say, Alaska...I'd never make it.
On the other hand, I can't have Christmas without the snow and the cold. It just wouldn't feel right. So, here's my answer...I'm hoping God will agree and change the weather patterns-yeah right...I'm thinking it can snow from November through December and then we go into Spring...Not continue having icky cold until sometime in March...I know there's only one problem with my theory...This is a desert state and the only way we can have enough water to make it through our very hot and wonderful Summers is to have lots of snow and long winters.
I guess I'll just do what I do every year...deal with it...

On a Christmas note. It's only 11 days until the big event. I can't be sure why I'm excited other than I know Steff is going to get into the gift opening thing this year and Kieran is super excited. So, I'll have two of my beautiful children excited to open gifts on Christmas morning. Next year, Sadie should be into it a little more and she will be for sure the year after. The only bummer about the spacing of my children is that the girls will be getting into Christmas more and more and Kieran will be getting into it less and less. I wish I could have them all excited at the same time. Oh well, the only thing I can do is instill in Kieran a complete and everlasting excitement for Christmas.

Sadie and I are the only ones up right now and I suspect Steff will sleep a bit longer. She didn't go to bed until 11pm and she woke up around 3am, wanting daddy to read her a story and of course he went in and spent a few minutes with her. He loves his kids so much that he will give them attention any time he can...even in the middle of the night.

Kieran always wakes up in such a good mood but when he gets home from school he's in a different place. I ended up writing him a note to stay in from recess today. I know that might not have been the right thing to do but he caught me on the spot and I was rushed and not thinking right. I guess the good thing is that I'll be able to see if there is a difference in his attitude when he gets home. We'll see if he's feeling like everyone hates him or if he's at peace. I know I need to have a conversation with his teacher and after I finish this blog I will be emailing his teacher asking for a meeting with him. I need to get to the bottom of this...

Worried About Kieran

I am so worried about Kieran. I know he's been having troubles at school. He keeps begging me to write him a note saying he can stay in from recess. . .I ask him why and he tells me he has a cold and shouldn't be outside. I know he feels fine because he comes home and plays with his sisters and Nick all the time without any word about not feeling well.
I wonder what's going on. Is he the cause of some problem and he doesn't want to be around other kids. Or, are they just being cruel to him for some unknown reason...? I know he's a sensitive kid and he cries at a lot of things but I don't know if he's that way at school. He did say something to the effect that he was called a "baby." I can feel his pain with that. I was a cry baby and it caused me a lot of problems when I was in grade school. I remember feeling alone and like I didn't have any friends. It was horrible. I would never do grade school again-never. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I think that's sad that my childhood memories are riddled with bad school experiences. I should have loved being at school...I remember loving to learn but actually socializing...no chance at that...
I hope he's not experiencing those same feelings but I honestly fear he is. I wish I could be there at school as a fly on the wall. I want to take it all away and give him nothing but great memories of grade school. I didn't ever have any problems making friends when I was in Jr. High and High School so maybe he can make it through this year and the next and find peace and friendship when he's in Jr. High.
I truly worry about suicidal thoughts though. He's threatened to "kill himself" in the past and you can never know how serious that really is. I would hate to lose my child because I didn't head his warnings. I just hope the pressure doesn't eat him so much that he feels there is no other way. I am so worried.
I have thoughts of him being upset because it's Christmastime and he only lost his dad a year and half ago so the pain is still really raw. But, I can't just pin his problems on that without at least trying to help him see that it's what his family, who loves him unconditionally, thinks. I remind him all the time that he's loved and I make sure I take him with me whenever I leave to go somewhere so that we get that one on one time and so that he feels special.
All I can do at this point is listen to the Lord and give Him all these problems. I know He'll see us through but sometimes it's hard to keep faith. I wouldn't say my faith is wavering, it's just that sometimes I forget to have faith. I forget to let God have my fears and troubles. He did say that he'd never leave us.

Step Mom

My step mom stopped by this morning. It always nice when she comes by. I just adore her so very much. She's always been very honest and straight forward with me and with everyone else for that matter. She's a straight shooter. She'll tell you like it is, whether you like it or not. But, it's always a fresh point of view and you always know how she feels.
We just talked about family stuff for the most part. Like what my siblings are up to and how they should change some of things they are doing. They also need to grow and realize that their parents aren't out to get them, they are simply trying to save them from grief. I know it took me into my mid to late twenties before I started realize what a great woman my dad married. I learned to love that woman with every part of my being and, it's not hard. She's just such a great person. Hell, she has to be to put up with my dad for as long as she has.
My kids love her too. Sadie cries every time she starts to walk toward the door to leave. And, Kelly loves that. I would too, if I were a grandparent. She's a good grandma too. She loves my kids and sometimes they have the opportunity to brighten her day. Like she was telling me, Kieran had called for something or other and he just out of the blue told her that he loved her. She needed it that day and it helped her feel much better.
Steff just asked "where gram ma go?" I told her to work and she repeated me. Of course, she then barked at me that she wanted some juice...Kids are funny.

I Got Red

I really enjoyed going to my nail appointment yesterday. She did take a little longer than I would have liked and that left no time for me to spend with Ryan but none-the-less, it was a good treat. I ended up getting a dark, Christmas red and a little holly decal. I really do enjoy having red on my nails. It makes such a statement and there is only a couple times a year that it's really appropriate...Christmastime and Valentine's. My nails have a glitter in the color so they are sparkly.
Right now, it's just me and Sadie up. She's over playing with the basket of toys I got for her and I'm sitting here blogging about completely lame things. I get so bored sometimes. Especially when it needs to stay quiet so those that are still sleeping can do just that, sleep.
Steffanie woke up around 5:45 because her pillow was on the floor. We went in and retrieved it and I got her some juice and back to sleep she went. I'm hoping she'll sleep until around 9 or 10. I doubt it, but she did go to bed pretty late, so maybe.

Getting Ready

I have a nail appointment today. I'm so excited to have Christmas nails. . .I guess that's probably something obvious since all I can talk about is how excited for Christmas I am. I don't know what I'll have her do, maybe red tips. I tried that once and loved it. I thought they'd drive me crazy but I really liked having such a vibrant color on my nails.
I was just getting ready for my appointment. I actually took a bath, washed my hair, did my makeup and did my hair. Can you believe it.? I am dressed to kill or at the very least a blind man would be happy to see me.
It was a circus while I got ready. My daughters were running and crawling all over the place. I had to take a book away from Sadie before she annihilated it and Steff was in to all my kitchen utensils. It was interesting to say the least. Ya know I have to keep up with Steff or she'll wreck my house. Sadie was equally destructive this time. She kept picking up toys and throwing them everywhere. I have to admit it was funny but the outcome isn't so nice.
I really enjoyed getting ready to go somewhere. I rarely wear makeup or do my hair anymore. I feel bad for my husband. He says he likes that I don't have to wear makeup but I feel bad. Poor guy doesn't have a wife that gets all dolled up for him anymore. I'm just so wrapped up in kids that I don't have time for myself and I don't have the energy to do my hair and makeup.
I know it won't always be this way. One day they will be in school and I will have time to myself to shower and stuff. Then maybe my darling husband will have a wife that gets beautiful for him...
Right now my daughters are docile. Steff is sitting on the couch watching Sesame Street and Say is in bed. I will be attempting to wake Ryan here in about 15 minutes. Notice I said, "attempt?" He went to bed about 4 and I'm sure it took a few minutes for him to fall asleep. I know he has to work late to get the overtime hours but it really sucks that he gets home so late because he has to sleep into the afternoon so much. I wish he were like me and could live on 5 or 6 hours without any problem. But, he's not...he has to have at least 7 hours of sleep or there is no light on.
I'm now sitting here enjoying that I can blog about me and life in general because I created a blog for our family. It's www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com You should check it out. . .I'm hoping Ryan and Kieran will make appearance here and there and give a little insight into how they see life in this family. It would be nice to hear about Ryan's thoughts. I've probably already blogged about this but it's still so new and I'd like people to read it...

Still Excited

I'm still feeling excited and I think my children are too. They keep being naughty. My mom said she remembers the excitement being too much for my brother and I and we'd act worse around Christmas than any other time of the year. I think my kids are doing the same thing. Kieran has been super sensitive and thinks all the kids at school don't like him and Steff is being a super stinker. Sadie is the only one still acting normal but I just think she's too little to understand the presents. Yeah, Steff's a little young too, but she does know there are presents and she's always saying she wants to open them. It's like the tree went up and the kids went nuts...
Other than feeling like the days are dragging and Christmas will never come, I am doing well. Of course, I'm still taking my meds and that helps immensely. I think without them I'd go nuts. With Steff getting into every single thing and doing terrible two's things and Kieran being so sensitive. It's a no wonder I have to take a mood stabilizer.
My house has been staying clean and I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve. I have a rule that Santa doesn't come to a dirty house. It sure makes it easier to put all the new stuff away when the house has had a nice cleaning before the gifts get shredded open.
I have had my quota of coffee today but that's not going to stop me from drinking more. Remember my new mantra? Life's too short, stay awake for it...Sometimes I wonder if Ryan is right about the fact that I sleep like crap at night because I drink coffee all day long...I did start trying to not have coffee after 6pm just to test his theory that that's what is keeping me up. Of course, I just started it last night and I had a good night of sleep but I don't know if that's because I had less coffee or if it was all the sleeping medicine I took before bed? It could very well be both though. Who knows? I'll try anything to get more great nights of sleep...
I have been feeling alive and well. I haven't had many flair ups with my bursitis and my lower and middle back have been feeling great. I have been very careful about the things I do and how I sleep. Granted, I'm still sleeping on the couch and that doesn't help but it hasn't been bad at all. I can actually say I have moments throughout the day where I have no pain. No pain...do you know how great that is? When I can sit back and not feel stabbing or throbbing pain I almost remember what it was like to be younger again.
I'm pushing 30 and you'd think being a woman would make me feel depressed but I am actually excited. I won't be a young 20 something any more. I'm particularly excited for my birthday present...a Chihuahua...I get a new baby in my house. Yeah, the potting training is going to suck a lot but I will have my own personal lap dog to take everywhere I go. He's light brown and white and his name is Rexy. His mama's name is Roxy so I wanted to name him something close to hers. I know it's silly but having a little puppy when I still have two kids in diapers is silly too. I must be nuts. I will be potty training Steff at the same time I'm potty training Rexy. Oh, boy...

Steff and Sadie Playing Together

The cutest, most sweet thing is going on right now. Steff and Sadie are playing together and laughing like best friends. It's like a little glimpse into the future and the wonderful friendship they will share together.
Yes, I realize they will also fight like cats and dogs but that will only make them stronger.
They are chasing each around the house and around this white chair that we have. I haven't even had to get after Steff for being too rough. Well, at least not yet.
They are just so cute together sometimes.

Quiet Morning

It's been a nice quiet, winter morning. Sadie and I are the only ones up. She is doing her usual...crawling around and playing while being absolutely happy. Thus far, I have done absolutely nothing. I've watched the news and checked and sent a couple of emails but that's it. It's so nice to be able to relax.
Steff woke up at about 6:45 and wanted her bum changed and she surprisingly went back to sleep. I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised when I went in to check on her and found her sleeping again. Now, I'm hoping she'll sleep another hour. I'm not counting on it though.
I am so excited for Christmas that this month is slow going. I have wrapped each and every gift as it has come in the door and I am bummed that there isn't more to wrap. I guess I could go over to my mother in-laws and do her wrapping for her...that's actually a really good idea. I think I'll see what Ryan thinks and call her and ask her if she's interested in the help. I helped her on Christmas Eve last year...maybe if I help her earlier, I can mostly relax on the Eve...? It's a win, win situation really. She gets her wrapping done for her and I get to feed my excitement.
Well, I have survey drawings to enter and Say needs her bum changed.

Steff Has Something Against Me

I think my daughter has something against me. You see, she was a good girl all day yesterday and up until daddy walked out the door she was good today. I mean, literally, walked out the door. I was in the garage saying goodbye to him and he asked me to come back into the house and grab his magazine when I discover Steff had gone in to my room. Where Sadie was sleeping...She flipped on the light and rummaged through the things on Ryan's dresser before settling on a yo-yo to play with.
So, I got after her, layed Sadie back down, turned off the light, shut the door and went back out to finish saying goodbye to Ryan...
And, again, I had to run into the house for something for Ryan AND...she had pulled out my baby lilac bush...Right out of the potting soil! I had just planted it yesterday. So, I got after her again, replanted my bush and went back out to finish saying goodbye for the last time to Ryan.
I guess you're probably waiting for the next trick she had up her sleeve but I'm thinking aren't two tricks enough to realize this child has something against me?
I can't think of what made her start her two year old tricks as soon as Ryan walked out the door and why she remained an angel while he was home. I must be doing something wrong to deserve this mistreatment. If anyone knows why a child would treat one parent this way and not the other please feel free to comment. But, don't think it has anything to do with me being softer on the discipline because I'm the one that does most of that. We have wracked our brains coming up with ideas...Like, maybe she doesn't respect me as much, maybe I don't give her enough positive attention, she feels safe being a stinker around me, she is expressing her feelings that Ryan isn't home or has just left...these are the ideas we came up with and knowing which one, if any are the reason is complicated and possibly impossible...

She's SO...Confused

So, Steff is a confused little child. Maybe this is the reason for her rebellion. Let me explain. She says the opposite of what she means...This morning I asked her if she wanted to go to "time out" and she said, "yes." Now we know, she doesn't mean that. What child in their right mind would volunteer for time out? Certainly not mine.
She also says she wants to "go outside" when she's standing on the front porch shivering. Again, you know she's already outside and she's freezing her little tail off and she simply wants to go "inside."
She does things like this all the time...That is why I believe she has every intention of being a good girl, she just gets so confused.

A Good Day Gone

We had a great day today. It was nice and peaceful yet fun day. We had a nice docile morning and the girls were angels.
Then, it was the Christmas shopping we did that I mentioned earlier and then, Ryan put up the lights and we all took a nice, lazy, winter day nap.
The girls were good today and I'm feeling much more refreshed and ready for the next week. Ryan should be done with all the extra overtime he's been doing soon and life will return to normal and my kids won't drive me quite so crazy.
I went and helped my mother in-law put up her Christmas tree and do a little decorating. I also offered to clean her house for her. I love that woman so very much and she wasn't feelin well so helping her was the least I could do.
Right now, Ryan is reading Steff a bedtime story, Sadie is sound asleep and Kieran has gone off to bed.
Ryan was such a wonderful man earlier and made dinner while I was at his mom's. I felt bad that I wasn't home to make dinner but he's such a great help and I really do appreciate him.
I still can't believe that Steff didn't have any episodes with making mess and getting into trouble for the entire day. It must be a miracle...Tis' the season, I guess.
Kieran did go snowboarding and as usual he had a great time. I'm happy the season has started for him to be able to go and do that. I hope he gets to go more this year than he did last year. Not that last year he didn't go much, it's just that I would like him to go even more this year. It's good for him.
Sadie had another great day. She was her usual self and nothing really new to report. She did do quite a bit of babbling today(as I already said) and it never got old hearing her adorable little voice.
I am in a good place. We watched Christmas movies tonight and got the kids all excited for Christmas. Kieran said he was going to bed to dream about Christmas. I loved hearing that. I hope he does have a great night and Christmas dreams.

Ho Ho Ho!!!

We went Christmas shopping and came up with 6 more gifts for Kieran. He's such a spoiled child. It's our fault our kids are monsters. They aren't always monsters but they have their moments just like all kids.
It was really nice to get out of the house and Steff was really good in the stores. She cooperated and sat down when she was directed to. Sadie was super tired and kept leaning her head forward to go to sleep. But, when we got home she only slept for a few minutes.
We've done festive things today, Ryan even put the Christmas lights on the house. He does such a great job at everything he does and the lights are no exception...
Steff hasn't done anything too rotten today. No spilled soda, dumped sugar or diapers flung all over the house...It's been a good day.
Sadie has been sort of emotional today but still very happy. She has been really babbling a lot today and as I've said before it's a treat.

Nice Morning

It's been a nice morning. I woke up earlier than everyone and had some time to myself. Then, Sadie woke and I asked Ryan to get out of bed. The real shocker is that he did get out of bed and it didn't take me a half hour to get him up either.
Shortly thereafter Steff woke up and she was in a somewhat docile mood. It was nice to enjoy her after such a trying week.
Ryan and I came to a few conclusions with her...First, you cannot relax for one minute because that's when she gets into things. Second, you have to stay one step ahead of her and make sure she cannot reach things on the couter. After these somewhat frustrating revelations things have gotten harder and yet easier at the same time. Harder in the sense that you have more work to do, you cannot just let her play because she doesn't stay entertained long. Easier in the sense that by staying a step ahead of her you save yourself the grief of cleaning up the messes that she so regularly makes.
Sadie can say, "dada" but we aren't sure if she realizes she's actually saying someone's name. She was babbling quite a bit last night. She doesn't do that often so it was a real treat...
Steff got into the sugar and poored it all over her room, she got a half full soda off the counter and poured it on the kitchen floor, she also got a hold of the bread and pulled each and every piece out of the bag. These are just a few of the things that have become part of our moment to moment lives and hence, the reason we have to stay alert with her. And, the complete reason for our insanity.

Sledding

We went sledding...Me, Ryan and Steff went sledding. We were going to take Kieran and Nick but they were impatient and thought we'd take too long because we were looking for our snow wear. So, they asked Nick's mom to take them.
We had gone and had a blast and we were on our way home and here comes Kieran and Nick. I will be picking them up in about 45 minutes. She took them so, we'll pick them up...
Now for the explanation of how our time was...We had a great time and Steff wanted to keep going down. She kept saying, "One more time." It was the cutest thing. She didn't even whine on the way up the hill and it was quite a walk...She just carried her own weight and walked up the hill. She absolutely loved it.
We are going back tomorrow...but we will be bringing Sadie this time. I know it's gonna be hard and Ryan and Steff will want to be die hards and go down a dozen times or so but it will be a family event and I can camcord more.
If anyone wants to see Ryan and Steff's adventures just come over and we'll plug in the video...

Starting His Own Blog

So, Ryan said he's gonna start his own blog so he can counter act what I say. I think he's got a great idea but maybe just hearing his point of view on the life he lives in this family would be nice. I would certainly want to know what he thinks. He's got a completely different perspective than I do. For instance, he thinks Steff is absolutely adorable. And, I think she's a two year old turd. He thinks pretty much the same of Sadie as I do and I think we both agree on Kieran but I could be wrong. . .We both lead different lives and he's not home much so he appreciates the little things around the house more than I do...I should appreciate them because one day they will be gone but none-the-less, I'm pretty sure he appreciates them more.
I would really like if Ryan would come on my blog and chat about things but he's not sure he wants the whole world to know what he's thinking. I can't blame him, I've seen some trouble from being frank and honest with what I'm thinking and feeling.

Peaceful So Far

It's been a peaceful morning so far.
Kieran got up with his alarm and got ready for school without a peep from me. I can't even tell you what shirt he had on because he was in his coat before I even noticed his was up...
Sadie has been sorta ornery this morning and I can't be sure why. She has been more whiny than she normally is. It might be because she didn't sleep in enough.
Steff is mellow, for now. I'm sure the drama will ensue soon though. I have a confession to make. I hate this stage Steff is going through. She gets into everything and makes messes on purpose. I really could use a break from her.
Oh...well, that's what mother's do-deal with the garbage in hopes that the rewards later are great.

They Need Cages

They need cages....yes, my children are animals. All three of 'em. Sadie's even being a stinker. She's been following Kieran and Steff around while they run around like little chickens with their heads cut off and standing up at the television every chance she gets.
It's a good thing I love my kids or I'd have no hair left. Sanity is overrated. I couldn't think of anything else to do to be able to deal with them so here I am...I figured if I blogged about the insanity of it it wouldn't drive me so crazy. I don't think it's working...
Right now isn't so bad though. Kieran and Steff are on opposite sides of the room and watching the Berenstain Bears so they are being good. Sadie is getting a bottle and she'll be nice and quiet in a few seconds. Ahh...it's nice when it's like this and everyone gets along.
I really do love my children, they, and their daddy are my life. I don't know what I'd do with out each one of them. They all add something to my life that I otherwise wouldn't have. Kieran gives me the refreshing remembrance of what it's like to be a kid. Steff keeps me on my toes. And, Sadie is the peace and quiet that calms me in the middle of it all. Ryan is everything. He's always been a breath of fresh air to me. He keeps me the most grounded with his sensibility and his wisdom.
What else can I say? I just pure and simply love my family.

She's Driving Me Crazy but Who is She?

I have one very spirited child and she is driving me crazy!!! I can't keep up with her near fast enough. She goes and goes and then screams when it's time to call it a day. I can't even think about giving her a nap because then she stays up til around 11pm. And, by 9 I need a break from the wear and tear of my three children. I certainly don't need one of them lingering about...
I'm sure you've already guessed which one of my children is driving me over the brink of sanity...but, just for clarity, it's Steffanie.
To give you some of her antics as an idea of why she's making me nuts...here they are...she keeps telling me she's hungry but she will only take a couple of bites of things and then it's, "yuck."
She pulls all the diapers out of their basket and she doesn't just dump it out, she flings them all over the living room. By the time she's done they are on top of everything and behind everything...
She goes into her room and dumps out her toy box and pulls it around the house and plays in it. Then she gets mad when it's too big to fit through a door way.
She keeps telling me she wants to watch Nemo, or Vegetales or Cinderella but 10 minutes after I put it on she's crying to watch Sprout and then she cries to watch Caillou.

My mom is driving me equally crazy...She didn't save enough money from her paycheck to buy her cholesterol medication and then when I give her some of the money she gave me to save for her, she goes shopping with it. She is so irresponsible...
Last night we were talking and she was telling me that she wasn't going to go over to Danny's until Saturday because she plans on helping me with the kids Saturday afternoon while Ryan works. But, instead of asking me to take her to Danny's, she says "I'll have you take me" like I'm just here to give her a ride where ever she wants to go. I corrected her and said "you mean, ask me."
Ryan thinks that she believes I owe her something and that she truly thinks that I am just here to give her rides every where she wants to go. He doesn't like my mother much so I take everything he says with a grain of salt. I do think he has some truth to what he believes though...

Pizza for Breakfast

SO I'm a horrible mother, I gave my daughter a pizza pocket for breakfast. I don't really know if that qualifies me as a bad mom or if that just means I gave her what I knew she would eat. She was asking for breakfast and saying she wanted a pizza pocket. What's a mom to do?
Sadie has been her usual self this morning...Playing and crawling around. Maybe today she'll do something exciting and I can blog about it later??? She's just such a good little girl...Last year at this time we were dealing with a colicky newborn so this really is a treat. Christmas will be much more pleasant with her being a happy baby.
I am still so excited for Christmas. I am excited for the stocking stuffers right now but that's all Santa has been able to take care of so far. I want to fill them and see everyone's faces when they get their goodies.
So, far this morning we've started watching Caillou. The whiny four year old, that I cannot stand...I made a mistake and Steff has now discovered that I can play certain shows whenever she wants. I discovered the "On Demand" button and she loves to watch Caillou, Berenstain Bears and Jakers...Over, and over and over...again and again. We've seen all the episodes they have available a number of times. But, I read somewhere that kids, especially Steff's age like the comfort of repetition. I wish they liked new things...of course, it is nice being able to put the same thing on and know that she will be content instead of having to find something new each time she wants to watch a movie. So, yeah, I can't make up my mind which is worse...

I Have Gotten Christmas Cards

As you can see from the headline, I have received Christmas cards and it's only the 5th...I have 3 so far, so maybe we'll pass up the usual 5 we get each year. I hope so, I'm thinking sending out a total of 56 cards and getting 5 in return isn't great odds. It's not like they don't have our address and therefore can't send one. So, what's the deal? I'm just kidding...I don't send them to get them. I send them so those people in our lives that don't have the chance to hear the details can get a greeting and an overview of our year.

The kids were stinkers last night. With Steff and Kieran pestering each other and Sadie chasing them all over the house. It was a crazy night and bedtime came early.
Bedtime....the dreaded time of the day with Steff....She screams. Oh...does she scream. I can't figure her out...She wants me to read a bedtime story...so, I do and all heck breaks loose when I'm done. I have to tell her to get back to bed 10 or so times and I have to chase her back into her room a good 5 times before she settles on the floor in the hallway, right in front of her door or she'll cop a squat in the kitchen. Which is right next to her bedroom. I wish the bedtime routine with her would go back to being easy like it was a couple of months ago...

Sadie does the sign for "no," it's the cutest thing. She doesn't do it exactly right but each time she stands up to the tv, we call her name, she turns and looks and does the sign for no. She knows what she is doing is a no-no but she's a kid so she has to test her limits...Other than that little trick she's an angel. I don't know what else to say, it seems like there's never anything to say about her because she's always so good. I feel like all I say is that she wandered around and played....

Kieran was off his meds for a few days and boy did my mom and I notice a difference in his attitude. He was much more agitated than he usually is and he was also more mouthy. I thought I was gonna lose it with him, but, I kept telling myself that this isn't how he usually is and that he'd be back to normal soon. He even managed to get a pink slip for throwing a snow ball at school.
Do you believe that? He got a major disciplinary action for throwing a stinking snow ball...I didn't have much to say in the way of discipline from my point of view because I thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I did tell him that just because someone throws one at him doesn't mean he needs to throw one back. He apparently got the point because the next day at school another girl threw one at him and he just ignored her and didn't send one back at her. I'm glad he got the idea and understood the consequences aren't worth the action but I still think getting in major trouble over it was stupid.
It's not just the snowball thing with his school. They can't even ride their bikes to school anymore. I can understand no scooters or rollerblades, but bikes? How dumb is that? Rules in schools have gotten a little on the extreme side and they are robbing our kids of their innocence and youth. It's no wonder they figure out what sex and drugs are earlier, there's nothing else for them to do. They have to use their imagination and unfortunately, Satan prays on the imagination a lot.

I read something one time that was cool. "Even Satan believes in God." How's that for an eye opener? I also like the one that says, "If you're livin like there ain't no God, you'd better be right." Is is really so horrible to believe in something that brings hope, peace and joy to our lives? That's my question for all the atheists in the world. Why not? What is it going to hurt? If you're wrong at least you lived your life like a person with love and compassion and people will remember that about you. If you're wrong, then so what...? You're not going to go to hell if there is no heaven...
I'll get off my religious soap box now...

Back to my life. This morning has been a challenge, Steff has been into the toilet, the bread, the crackers and the left over soda on the counter. As you can imagine, she made a mess with all of them. The worst so far is the soda she spilled on the kitchen floor that now works like glue to anything that comes in contact with it. And, I can't get it to clean up and stop being sticky.
Oh...and then there's the lotion, the lotion I used to like the smell of until, my two and half year old got into it so much that now it stinks to me. It actually makes me nauseous and gives me a headache when I smell it. I need to just throw it out and get rid of the problem all together.

Ryan is so hard to wake up. I am so sick of trying to get him out of bed. I have been trying to get him out of bed for 15 minutes now and I don't see the end of this battle. His mom says he's always been this way but I think he uses that as an excuse to stay in bed as long as he possibly can. I dread getting him up. I'd just as soon let him sleep his day away. Then maybe he'd learn to get out of bed the first time I came in to get him...I doubt it because I've tried it and all he does is call himself a POS and yet continue the action that makes him feel that way. And, he says I'm insane because I don't learn from my mistakes...sounds like he has the same insanity issue...I guess I'll go try a few more times and then try to get the sticky spot off my kitchen floor...

Time Alone

I love it when this happens...when I get time all to myself. Right now, Kieran has gone off to school and the girls are still asleep. I have time alone. It doesn't happen often and I have to say, when it does, I sure appreciate it more than if it did happen more. And, I thought yesterday was a good morning because Steff slept in and Sadie was quietly playing on the floor. Today's an even better treat.

Today is grocery day...Yuck!!! I really don't like grocery day, it's exhausting. After spending and hour and half searching for what we need, we have to come home and spend another 30 minutes putting the stuff in its proper place. Yeah, I have to say, "I hate it." Not only does it take a nice chunk of my otherwise lazy day, it also wears me out. I get so tired for some unknown reason. I know it's not just me though because Ryan says it wears him out too.
Another icky thing about grocery day is that it takes away from Ryan's time to spend with me and the girls. Yeah, we are technically spending time together but it's not quality time, if you ask me.

I know I said I'm enjoying this time alone but honestly, I feel like going back to bed for another hours or so. You see, Sadie woke me up at 6 because she wanted a bottle. So, I figured she was gonna get up and thus, I got up. That was two hours ago...She's still not up and here I am blogging and boring you to death.

Nothing new has been going on with my family. No exciting news to type about...I just kinda write about the boring stuff of each day or the random thoughts in my head. I'm not saying that I wish something exciting would happen, because usually exciting things are also tragic things. I'm just saying, "sorry for boring everyone to tears..." and that I wish something cool would happen, like Sadie walking or something like that.

Ryan is finally getting excited for Christmas. He's such a Scrooge...It really bums me out and it's really irritating, I don't particularly like hearing him say he hates Christmas. And, I told him my feelings last night. I explained that it's not fair for him to hate something and to make it very clear to those of us who love the season and the holiday. It's just not fair. It can be very hurtful when your feeling all giddy and can't wait and he states how bad he hates Christmas. It's a real downer.
I asked him why he hates Christmas...His reason? Money...It's always about money. He always hates anything that costs him money. Hell, he doesn't even take me out on dates because it costs money. His idea of a date is a steak and a rented dvd from Redbox, where it only costs a dollar...Well, I hate to tell him but I am home allll....day long and once in a while it would be nice to get out and away from the kids. I wouldn't mind if he took me into McDonalds for a happy meal, just get me out of this house once in a while.
Yes, I have told him this but for some reason he says we'll do things like this more and yet, we never do. I'm getting sick of not feeling important enough to spend the time and money and energy to get me out of the house.
I think for Christmas I'll just ask for a date night. Then it won't cost him money right away and he can just give me a piece of paper that states he owes me one date night. I think that's an excellent idea. And, maybe, just maybe I'll actually get to go on a date with my husband...whom I adore and find very nice to be around.

Well, that's all the "stuff" I have to whine about and blog about for now. My children will most likely do something that warrants a blog...but they're still not up...

I Love Mornings Like This

This is the kind of morning I love to have. It's just me and Sadie. Kieran has gone off to school and Steff is still sleeping.
Sadie is over playing with some toys and being very good. As if there is any other way she really ever is....I've been watching the news and checking email and now, blogging.
The reason I love mornings like this is because they are so relaxing. Having just Sadie up makes it easy to relax. Once Steff gets up I will be running around do this, that, and the other thing. She's kind of a demanding and strong willed child.
For the past two mornings Steff didn't get up until 10:30, I'm hoping for another day like that. Once she gets up, Sadie goes down for her nap and that makes it nice to just spend time with each of them, alone. I feel like a good mom when I have a chance to devote all my time and energy with one at a time.


I'm still really excited for Christmas and Santa got all the stocking stuffers for our stockings so he can't wait to fill them. He hasn't gotten our big gifts yet but he made a call to me and let me know that I should let Kieran know he has all the stuffers and that he's gonna be getting the big stuff soon and to let him know he still needs to be a good kid.

I remember last year, we would wrap a gift every couple days and place it under the tree before Kieran got home from school. He liked coming home and seeing new gifts and it helped him be on his best behavior for his teacher. She said it was the easiest month she ever had with him.

Speaking of Kieran's former teacher...I spoke with her a couple months ago and she made it clear that the reason Kieran has male teacher was because she and the school counselor had a say in which teacher he got. I told her they made a good choice and that he is having an excellent year.

As you've probably already figured out, I have had a few cups of coffee. I think I'm gonna go play with more Christmas stuff...

And, She Cleans

I actually broke down and cleaned most of my house. I know, it's a miracle...Hey, the kids were entertained and I had a burst of energy, what else can I say?
I know I said it's been a lazy day but I went and visited with my mom for about an hour and when I came home I felt nice and refreshed...Of course, I stopped at Starbucks and got Ryan and I our favorite coffee, so that was a nice treat to my energy level.
My mom was over at Danny's house, and has been since Friday night.
We're hoping she'll move in soon...
I doubt it though, that would make our house allllll ours and a dream come true...Her car wouldn't be parked on the side of our house any longer, we'd have a nice living room, a room for the computers, and a family room. Oh...we can't wait for that day...

The kids are being pretty good. Sadie is in her jumper, jumping away, Kieran and Steff are playing together nicely and Ryan is on his computer playing a video game and getting some time away from it all...

I am sincerely proud of myself for cleaning my house. All I have left to do is touch up the bathroom and vacuum...Not much left to do and where am I? Blogging....
I guess I better go get on the cleaning thing again and get it over with....

Lazy Days

It's another lazy day. I expect it from Ryan, he works a lot. But, me. It's another story. I shouldn't be sitting around, I should be doing wife and motherly stuff. Why? I don't know for sure, other than I'm not suppost to have any days off.

Steff in the Snow

Here are a couple pictures of Steff and Steff with Ryan out in the snow. This is her first adventure in the snow this year. I'm sure there will be many more days and nights of this.

Enjoyed Wrapping Gifts

Well, I wrapped Christmas presents and listened to Christmas music but I'm bored now. I guess I could clean my house but who wants to do that? I know it wouldn't take much since there isn't a whole lot that still needs to be done. Ryan and I did a quick pick up and vacuum job last night before bed. That always helps when it's time to really get down and dirty. Really, the only things that need to be done are the bathroom and the kitchen floor needs to be mopped.
I am home with my kids all by myself today and surprisingly, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Of course, Steff didn't get up until 10:30 and Sadie took a 2 hour nap.
I don't know how it happened but I was able to get Sadie down for her nap before Steff got up and Kieran was outside playing-So, I had about an hour and half of peace and quiet. If I were smart I would have taken a shower, since those are always delayed and interrupted. I didn't though, I figured I took a bath yesterday and I haven't done anything to get dirty.
I am feeling like a nap would be nice but I'm not even hoping that's going to happen. Especially since Steff slept so late and Sadie has already taken one.
Steff is full of it today. While I was out in the garage getting the gifts I was going to wrap she got into my plant's dirt, again and then she took her soup and spilled it all over the couch. I thank my mother in-law each and every time something gets spilled...Why? She bought me a slip cover for Christmas a couple years ago and it has really saved our couch from many things.
Sadie is being her normal self right now. She's just sittin on the floor playing with a book she got for her birthday and watching a little tv here and there. Sometimes I wish all my kids were as mellow and content as she is, then there are times when I'm glad they are all different in personality. It sure keeps me busy and life interesting.
Ryan will be home soon but he's planning on going back in once the kids are in bed. I hate that he has to go back into work. He's getting so burned out and he is really looking forward to being off work the week of Christmas. I am looking forward to it too. We were talking about redoing our dinning room that week. I asked for paint for Christmas, of course I've asked for a lot of things, or I should say, I've given Ryan a lot of ideas of what he can get me.
I think I'm going to go and finish my house and hang out with my daughters for a little while.

Getting Excited for Christmas

I am getting so excited for Christmas but I feel bad too. You see, it looks like we won't be able to afford for Ryan to go to Oakland after all. It's either he goes, or we buy Christmas gifts for the kids and well, he said it's no contest. He would rather buy the kids Christmas. He's such a good daddy.
I think the reason I'm feeling so festive is because I bought some gifts yesterday and it's been snowing since last night. I love the snow and it's always gotten me in the Christmas mood.
I remember singing "I'm Dreaming of A White Christmas" when I was a kid and that song always made me feel the Christmas mood.
I think after I'm done blogging I'm going to go wrap gifts, that always helps me feel productive and it's nice to load up underneath the tree with gifts too.
Right now Ryan is off to work-again, Kieran has left to go to his Grams, Steff is eating chicken noodle soup and Sadie is standing at the gate chatting me up.
I think I'm gonna go wrap gifts and put on some Christmas music...

Dad's Birthday

Well, Dad wasn't as excited about his birthday gift as I thought he would be but I can't be sure if it's because he didn't know the details or if it just needed to sink in a little more. You see, all 7 of us kids got him a ticket to I Fly, which he's been wanting to do for quite a while. We all chipped in and got him the second most expensive one and it has about 4 minutes of fly time, plus he gets a video of his flight and a t-shirt.
It should be fun and I'm sure he appreciated it and that he'll enjoy it too. His party was fun and we saw family members that we don't get to see all too often, so that was good.
He got some cool things for his birthday but I still think the I Fly was the best.
He was so cute when he saw all the people at his party...he almost started crying.

Another Day at The Zoo

Today was, as you guessed, another day at the zoo. My son was gone to school for most of the day so he was the least of my concerns. That is, until he came home...I advised him to be quiet because his sisters were asleep and what does he do? He goes outside, stands by my bedroom window, where Sadie is asleep and screams like a girl. Then he takes a Pringles empty canister and proceeds to bang on the porch railing. I wanted to kick his little butt up around his ears. He did all this in the first five minutes that he was home.
Steff has been on an interesting kick today. It consists of something like this...screaming and crying. She has whined for everything she has wanted today. The only moment of peace I got was while she was asleep and that was only for about and hour and a half. Other than that she was in a crabby mood the minute she woke up this morning. I have to admit that her mood has become better and better throughout the day though. Bed time should be soon and that's the moment I look forward to.
Oh, I was gonna post an update about how she was to put to bed last night...she fell asleep well, however, it was in the hallway-again. When I went to put her in her bed she freaked out!!! She started screaming like I was hurting her. I just walked away and ignored her. She fell asleep shortly thereafter.
Sadie has been Sadie today. She was a little ornery when she first got up this morning but I think that was because she was still tired and just wanted to go back to bed. I have a reason for my thoughts on this, she fell asleep in my arms while laying on the couch with me. I put her in bed and she slept for another couple of hours. Other than that glitch in her behavior she was in a great mood all day.

I Live at The Zoo

My children are animals or at least they were tonight. Kieran and Steff kept running around the house playing tag and Sadie kept crawling all over really fast and shaking her head up and down...kinda like she'd listened to too much of Ryan's music.
It was all quite funny but it strangely reminded me of a bunch of wild monkeys at the zoo. I honestly felt like I was living in a zoo.
I like it when my kids are full of spunk and get along. Of course, they need to get along or it's not cute at all.
Sadie is in bed and Steff is sitting on my mom's lap and Kieran is chillin on the couch and we are all watching the Berenstein Bears. It's nice and quiet and I couldn't be more happy for the down time.
Okay, so it's not that quiet...Steff is banging this plastic thing against the tv tray in front of her. She's annoying the pants off my mom and Kieran and I think it's still much quieter than it was so this is still bliss to me.
I wonder what tonight is going to be like when I try to put Steff to bed? I dread putting her to bed. She usually throws a wicked fit and wakes Sadie up. Then to top it off, falls asleep in the hallway. I had to move her last night and much to my surprise she actually cooperated. I almost didn't believe she was going for the transfer. I kept waiting for her to wake up and scream some more but she didn't....I hope tonight is that easy...I am thinking positive thoughts that it will be...I think I'd better say a nice, long prayer just to be safe...

Steffanie got into my plant's dirt again. Grrr...I get so sick of cleaning up potting soil. I have to clean the window sill, the floor, the hardwood and her hands...It's like she just doesn't get it. We have tried every kind of discipline to get her to stay out of the plants but nothing works. She just likes dirt and playing in it too much. I can't figure out what to do. If anyone has any ideas on how to keep this strong willed child out of my plants, I'm open to any ideas...
It's funny that I can read all sorts of books on household tips and tricks but they don't make any books that give you tips and tricks on children...No one thing works for two different children.

Spending The Night With Ryan

I was able to spend about 1 and 1/2 hours with Ryan last night. So, the headline is a little misleading...we only spent a little time together but it was nice. All we did was sit and watch the news together but we rarely have time alone together so it was a special treat. We cuddled and just all out enjoyed each other.
He needed to get to bed and I was wide awake so we kissed and I tucked him into bed and I went back into the living room and watched some more news.
I eventually fell asleep and didn't wake up until Steff was in my face telling me she wanted to watch Sprout. It was a nice rest for me and I think it's because I really enjoyed spending that short amount of time with Ryan...
Steff has been 50/50 with being whiny and not this morning. I have been using negotiation skills to stop her from whining and they seem to be working well.
The newest thing she does that drives us all nuts is asking to watch a DVD and then saying she wants to watch Sprout and then switching back to wanting a DVD and back again to Sprout. It takes 10 minutes of switching the tv back and forth to finally get her to decide what she wants. It's maddening...
Sadie has been a cutie this morning. She's just been crawling around, following her sister and playing with whatever toy she comes across in her journeys...
She is so cute, sometimes she will just sit and watch the tv for a few minutes. It's so cute to see her sitting there with her little legs crossed, watching the television...
Oh, she always crosses her legs when she is sitting. It's so cute and makes her daddy happy that she's such a little lady...
Kieran wore his snow pants to school today. I had to remind him to wear a pair of jeans underneath them though, cuz I'm sure he would have just wore them if I hadn't said anything. The funniest part is that we only got about 2 inches of snow...He's such a kid. I'm not complaining about him being a kid, I'm just saying it's funny how kids think....
Ryan crashed his machine at work last night so when he got home he really needed some TLC from me. I can't say I blame him for feeling that way. I know when I'm having a bad day it always feels nice to have him hold me and show me he loves me. The world just seems to go away when I'm in his arms and I'm sure it's the same for him...

Household tips for today...
1. Disposable Diapers: Keep a plant watered longer...before potting a plant, place a clean disposable diaper in the bottom of the flowerpot-absorbent side up. It will absorb the water that would otherwise leak out the bottom and it will keep you plant from drying out too fast. Plus, you'll have to water less....
2. Duct Tape: Hang glue and/or caulk tubes...Cut a strip of tape, several inches long, fold it over the bottom of each tube, leaving a flap at the end. Punch a hole in the flap with a paper hole punch and hang the tube on a nail or hook.
3. Aluminum Foil: Sharpen your scissors....Fold a piece of foil into several layers and start cutting. 7 or 8 passes through the foil should do it.
4. Aluminum Foil: Clean your iron...just run your starch ridden iron over aluminum foil several times...make sure your iron is hot though.
5. Aluminum Foil: Use as a heat reflector for ironing boards...just place the foil along the length of your ironing board(shinny side up)and underneath the cover and it will reflect the heat back up and cut your ironing time.
6. And, the coffee related tip of the day...Fertilize plants...use used coffee grounds in the soil around plants. They have nutrients that acidic plants love-ie. rosebushes, azaleas, rhododendrons, evergreens and camellias.
And, as an added tip to #6...Grounds from drip coffee makers are better than those that have been boiled in a percolator because the grounds are richer in nitrogen.
I tried #6 over this last year and it worked really well for my roses...
I haven't tried any of the others but I just read about these tips and tricks so I will be trying them soon...I'll report back on their effectiveness too or you can report to me if you've tried them and what your results were... tkelstrom@comcast.net .

When is it Abuse?

When is it considered abuse? I mean does it matter if it's your one child abusing your other one? You see, tonight Steff had it out for Sadie...Sadie ended up with a bruise on each cheek, they are in different spots on each side so they weren't from the same episode.
This is what I know...One minute Steff is in the kitchen doing whatever and trying to wake up from her nap...which she actually was half way in the kitchen and half way in the hallway when she fell asleep and I, being such a wonderful mother, left her there for the entirety of her nap. I figured she was taking one so leave her alone...She doesn't transfer well at all, so, if I had tried to move her, she would have woke up and stayed awake...
Anyway, Sadie crawled into the kitchen and apparently she got too close to Steff because when I came in, after hearing Sadie start to cry, I found Steff down the hallway, hiding from getting in trouble and Sadie smack dab on the right side of her face...
Later, the story is kind of the same, they were in the kitchen again and Sadie started crying and Steff ran off to hide. This time I'm really not sure what happened since Sadie was just sitting there crying and Steff took off to hide...I know one thing though, Sadie ended up with a bruise on the other side of her face. Kieran said Steff hit Sadie but that's all the information I got out of him...
I just had a revelation or two...Steff always hides when she hurts Sadie...and, 90% of the assaults happen in the kitchen...
I know I'm in for much more of this and that's something I've come to terms with but I'd hate to get in trouble for something my kids do to each other...

He Got 100%!

I almost forgot to share the great news. Kieran did a state report on the state of Oregon. He did an excellent job. His Gram helped him print all sorts of neat facts and information and then they glued each piece of info onto a black piece of paper and made it look great...Well, the great news is that he got 100%!!! He worked so hard on this report that I am very happy for him...He really deserved the grade and as I said, we are so proud of him....

Limited Connection

This has been a frustrating day with the internet. I have been trying to get our computers to reconnect to the internet virtually all day. Ryan seems to believe our router is going out and that we need a new one. It only works about 1/3 of the time now-a-days. It is really a pain, because I'll be typing a blog and it will go down. I am hoping this one will work...

The kids have been good, Kieran is being a turd and blowing a party blower. Even Steff is telling him to "shush." I have asked him to stop but to no avail...So, I'll just take it away. I warned him that if he doesn't quit being a stinker, he's going to his room for the night.

Steff is just waking up from a nap and she's in a surprisingly good mood. I like it when she wakes up in a good mood. She didn't wake up this morning in a very good mood though. Of course, she woke up at 5 something and wouldn't go back to bed. So, she eventually crashed on the floor until 9 or so this morning.

Sadie has been cute today. She's been zipping all over the house in a speed crawl. I love it when she does her speed crawl, it's hilarious...She has been as mellow and cute as she usually is.

I talked to my Oma last night. She is doing as good as she always is...she's still depressing to talk to. She talks about how lonely she is a lot and how her husband won't give her a divorce. I wish she didn't feel so alone but she lived close to all of us and moved back to Oklahoma anyway. She wasn't alone when she was here.

Well, to end this blog I've got a household tip...to clean a coffee maker, use 2 to 4 Alkaseltzer tablets and water with a little vinegar in it...It works better than anything I've tried in the past...Of course, my tip had to be about coffee. You know how I love my coffee...Speaking of coffee, I just brewed a fresh pot and it sounds so good...

Up Early Today

So, I woke up at 3am with another headache but, I think I've isolated what is causing them...medication. I think it's a medication that I'm on. It's a new one so it only makes sense. I will just have to talk to the doc and see if there is maybe a different one of the same type that I can try. No big deal, well, other than the wretched headaches that is.

Sadie and Steff got up ungodly early this morning...Sadie woke up at 5:15 and she was in a crabby mood so her crying woke Steff up at 5:45. I really didn't want to start my day that early but as a mom, you do what you have to do...Right?

Kieran will be walking to school with Nick for the rest of the year. I couldn't be more excited about it either. You see, this means I no longer have to drive him each morning. I know it's not smart or safe for him to walk alone, that's why I used to give him a ride each morning. I will still give them rides when the weather is a wreck or when the temperature drops out the bottom.

The girls may have gotten up early but they both fell asleep early too. Sadie went back down at about 7:45am and Steff went down around 6:30. Steff slept until 10:30ish and Sadie is still asleep. All this is fine with me since they got up so darn early.

I'm hoping Sadie sleeps for another half hour because that's when I'll be going in to wake Ryan up. I think he finally went to bed at about 4 or 4:30 this morning. So, he deserves to sleep until at least 11 or 11:30. I don't really like that he goes to bed so late but I still think he should get about 7 hours of sleep. I know he appreciates it too.

I think Sadie is starting to wake up...I heard a little fussing coming from our bedroom. I was hoping she'd sleep another 10 minutes but I don't think that's going to happen...

Heaven's to Betsy's I am feeling tired still...I could go back to sleep before my head even hit the pillow...I will have to tell Ryan of my early morning adventures and see if he takes any pity on me and lets me go take a nap...

Steff has had a runny nose for the last week and she was complaining of a loose tooth. I have a feeling she's getting her two year molars. I guess we'll see though...

And, I Was Worried About Sadie

I don't know what I was thinking but I went over and layed on the floor to play with Sadie and relax while the girls watched a movie. Well, Steff-not Sadie-had a better idea and she un-decorated 1/3 of the tree. All right under my nose. I don't know how I missed what she was doing but I did. I just thought she was in her bedroom playing. I was so wrong...

The funniest part was that I was worried about Sadie tearing the ornaments off the tree when it was ultimately Steff that did it.

I was so mad. I was mad at Steff and Ryan. Steff because she removed so many ornaments and played with the decorative beads and Ryan because he put the gate in a place that I couldn't get to it and thus there was no gate around the tree when it fell victim to Steff...

No fear though, the tree is redecorated and the beads are put back in place. It has one spot that needs fixin' but other than that it looks good...See?

I also already have 3 gifts under it...One for each of my children...

Ho Ho Ho!!!

I, with the help of Ryan and my mom, have successfully put up our Christmas Tree...I'm so excited for Christmas this year. If you can't tell...
I have finished my Christmas cards and I did it all before Halloween was even over yet. I know I've blogged about my card adventures before but I figured it was worthy of addressing again. I feel very proud of myself for getting them done so soon.
I was hoping this year we wouldn't have to put a big gate around the tree but Sadie is still too young to try that act. She has already gone after it a few times and almost succeeded in pulling it over. Even if it wasn't a big deal to have her going after the ornaments I still worry about her getting hurt by pulling it over.
Ya know what I just noticed??? I haven't seen any Christmas tree lots...Usually you see them on Thanksgiving and they pop up everywhere but I haven't seen a single one. We use an artificial tree, that's how we got ours up so soon but still...I haven't seen any lots. That's kinda weird if you ask me.
I feel a little bad that I broke the family tradition of putting up the tree on my mom's birthday but she said she didn't mind and that she would put up her three little trees if she needed to do one on her birthday. I hope she doesn't get all depressed since I wanted the tree up so early?

Whew, What a Morning

This morning is turning out to be a challenge...Steff is in a mood again for the second morning in a row and I have a headache to boot.
I actually woke up at 4am with a migraine. I haven't had one of those for a while and I remembered why I hate them. I don't usually use the word, "hate" but this time it called for it.
As I said, Steff is in a "mood," she keeps whining about every little thing. I even had to take hot dogs out of the freezer and tell her that she could have some for lunch because they were frozen. She wanted them "right now" though and she threw a fit over it. All this drama over hot dogs started with a show that she was watching, in which they had hot dogs. I love the things she learns from television but I don't like it when she gets something stuck in her head because there is no getting her past it. She just doesn't "forget" things.
Sadie is being a sweet heart this morning, she is being cute and fun too. She just crawls around and plays with whatever is in reach. Right now she is playing with an extra package of wipes and of course, diapers. She is so funny because she will get into the diaper baskets and pull all the diapers out. Then she proceeds to chew on them. I actually had a diaper one morning that had a big hole in the bum area from her chewing on it. It was funny, when I went to change her I finally realized that she had chewed a hole into the bum area. I had to laugh. . .