A Real Moment

As of right now( 9am), Ryan is at work-again, Kieran is at his grams-again, Steff is watching Sprout-again, Sadie is playing-again, and I am blogging-again. So far, it's a normal day and Hooray!!! for yesterday we had another great day. Of course, it probably would have been better if I hadn't gotten up at 4am.
I was amazingly surprised at how awake I stayed for most of the day. Granted there was a period of time when I thought the Sandman was gonna steal me away-standing up.
Ryan and I didn't get to spend much time together yesterday, as we had planned to. He got up and did a few things to prepare the house for winter and then off to his sister's he went to help them roof their house.
It was a good evening though. We ended up watching a movie and going to bed late. Definitely, later than I wanted to go to bed.
Steff was mean to her sister again. Not shocked though, I think she's getting more and more comfortable with her presence and hence the abuse begins. She's been pushing her down lately, which saddens me cuz Sadie just wants to see what she is doing.
Sadie has no bruises as of this morning. I wouldn't hold my breath for the rest of the day since it's been a few days since they've all gone away.
I took the girls for a drive yesterday which we ended up going to the cemetery to visit Sean for a very quick minute. It's was really quick to think back-I had the girls in the Jeep and I didn't want to chase Steff through a cemetery so I just went and said, "Hi," placed a yellow rose of friendship in his vase and left.
I sure miss Sean, when he died we had finally gotten to the point where nothing was painful any more and we were friends. The last time I saw him before he died, he was sitting on my porch scratching at the hives he had been suffering with but he still had a personality about each scratch he made. He just sat there and visited with me while I smoked a cigarette. Then he left and well, the rest is history...

Okay, so it's been a couple hours since I started this blog and things have gotten bad...Steff and Sadie are both being whinny. I had to finally put Sadie back to bed and I'm counting down til Steff's nap time...

Steff just threw all the diapers all around the living room...I want to scream!!! No she's pulling all the toys out..................

I think I have a moment of control back...But, it's like this every day. I can't figure out how I'm gaining weight. Whew, this gets tiring.
"Mommy, it didn't work." As she frustratingly works on getting one of the noisy toys to be noisy.
I love my family and this stuff just makes me laugh...What else can a crazy mom do? Screaming just cracks my kids up so that's out.
I think I figured out how to get Steff to do something-for now...I get this really high pitched voice and talk to her in an intoxicatingly nice voice...This will all blow up in my face too, I fear.
And, not soon enough...The whining is on. She's back to trying to get that noisy toy to be noisy. She's telling me it needs new batteries.

The mailman just brought me more books!!! More books!!! I'm so excited. I have a book on holiday cooking and Christmas craft ideas and 3:16 by Max Lucado, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and many more but the one I need the most...Why Smart People Do Stupid Things with Money...Ryan should be pleased to see that one. Of course, the irony lies in this fact here...It cost me money to get these books.
That's my first step in recovery...recovery from my need to buy things. I have a catalog fetish and I have made a promise to Ryan that I won't buy anything from catalogs for a month. It's been a long 3 weeks but I have orders ready to go out...I'm jonesing for a delivery...No I'm just kidding. At least about the jonesing part. I do like ordering things from catalogs and I have some pretty good Christmas gifts collected because of it. I also did promise not to order anything for a month because he has a few things he wants to order and if I'm constantly spending all the money we have saved for Christmas he can't order me anything. I know he really wants to get me the things I have asked for...He's a great man.

Are ya sick of my ramblings yet??? I have 1 and 1/2 hours left to go before Ryan gets home so hang on as I continue to type the events of this morning and the random and uninspired thoughts in my mind. Of course, this all means I'm venting everything on my mind and creating a way of journaling what it was really like in a day. My children ought to enjoy reading how they pulled off driving me into the loony bin.
Steff's jumping in the white rocking chair and as it bangs against the wall-bang, bang, bang, bang...and the pictures rattle and show their instability- she falls to her bum and then she's up again. The intoxicating voice asking her to sit like a big girl worked once. She keeps looking at me like "who are you?" Hehehe, it's funny watching her face as I nicely ask her to do things. You can tell she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. At least she's not whining...
That's over too. I'm begging Ryan to come home. She's driving me crazy.
Well, it's time to go clean. I have diapers to pick up and I'd like to have a remotely clean home for Ryan to come home to. I hope all is well in your worlds and that your life is as crazy as mine, it's time passing and fun this way.